rikairyoku

#monologue part.III

2012-01-19T00:35:00.003+07:00

^everyday is a "Past, Present, Future" lessons; and our sessions take forever^

NonaBola 170112

~chaa

Passion and Patience (TWMA lesson)

2012-01-17T00:45:00.004+07:00

After almost 7 takes, we finally made it! We did the TWMA shooting. In the process, there were many obstacles happened. In the middle of the takes many "noises" occurred unexpectedly, the sound card and the condensor mic were unfriendly (thank God, Genius was there :p), at the end (09:15 pm) we even got "shoo"-ed by the OB of Joni's office. We had to clean up everything without any lights. What a night!
Once, Joni desperately mumbled "Is this the passion for music? Is it?" with a doubtful voice. But I know, insides, he nodded (right?) :p
And it came to my mind everything that happened tonight, not only we need passion but we also need patience to get what we love. :)
Special thanks for my music partner, Joni, who was patient and passionate tonight. And thank you very much for Dudul who patiently waited until the video was finished.

~chaa

monologue part.II

2012-01-15T07:09:00.003+07:00

^slow it down and take it easy. we have many hours to talk. talk about many things we ever wanted in our lives. then, we can start to talk about reality, what we need, what we have learned, and what we must do for Him.^

^one thing you must know in needs or wants, focus^

~marissa

monologue part. I

2012-01-15T00:42:00.003+07:00

^and someday, the three of us, we will pick some Tulips together^ :)

Project #2

2012-01-15T00:33:00.010+07:00

This is our second project, we have not found a name for us yet. Many people asked what the purpose of this project is. Well, so far I can only say that we made it in the name of "passion" and "ngabuburit-every-Monday-and-Thursday" :D For a while, you can just call us "Joni and Zooey". LOL.

This song is titled "Till We Meet Again". I need more than three weeks to think about what title suits best. And I've found it after a long hour of boring meeting with my family (sorry), which made me couldn't use my cell phone. And it killed me. And that's when I hummed the song and said "Till we meet again, my phone". Moreover, Capt joined the meeting so that he inspired me more, especially for the newest part of the song (second verse) which Joni had me to do.

This song tells about unwanted farewells, well it often happens right? When a person had to let go off someone because they cannot be together or they must not be together despite of every reason they have to be: a very appealing story, an extremely strong chemistry, or a like-minded past; they still have to be apart. The process of letting go takes them to spare a room in their hearts and use them to believe that somehow in another circle of life, God will give them a chance to have a different and happier ending. So, that belief leads them to seize the days until that "next meeting", wherever and whenever it will be.

*nothing personal, no hard feeling* :")

"Till We Meet Again"

Music: Joni
Lyrics: Icha

In the middle of this sorrow,
somewhere there is still a glow.
And it's to always know
that every minute spent with you ran very slow.

I know this time I may not follow
but we'll meet again at the end of the rainbow.
We just have to believe in tomorrow
when you and I are on the same row,
on the same flow.
And none of us have to let go.

*instrumental*

There are times I get shallow
somehow let this heart to show.
Every time I'm feeling low,
it's you, the light that shines on me in rain or snow.

I know this time I may not follow
but we'll meet again at the end of the rainbow.
We just have to believe in tomorrow
when you and I are on the same row,
on the same flow.
And none of us have to let go~

I know this time I must not follow
but we'll greet again through the sound of a rainbow.
We just have to believe in tomorrow
when you and I are on the same row,
on the same flow.
Ooh, on the same row, on the same flow.
And none of us have to let go, ooh~

~chaa

To Learn

2012-01-08T06:13:00.004+07:00

I just had a midnight convo discussed about how funny every lesson in our lives if we realized it. We sometimes asked Him for something because we wanted them so bad. But when we had had it, we realized that it wasn't as we expected it. I agree that He gives us what we need instead of what we want. That is why there is always a peace inside of me.

^God always has some kind of ways to make us learn something. We may never know how but eventually we will understand why^ (right, you?) :))))

I wish we are included in a group of people who learn and reflect, by then, He wont close our hearts forever.

~chaa

you'll be safe here

2012-01-07T09:05:00.003+07:00

Rivermaya cover)

by: Capt. Crash

I'll Never Find Another You

2012-01-07T05:38:00.005+07:00

I'll Never Find Another You

(The Seekers cover)

by:Edo, Icha, Dudul, Irawan.

There's a new world somewhere they call the promised land.

And I'll be there someday if you will hold my hand.

I still need you there beside me no matter what I do.

For I know, I'll never find another you.

There is always someone for each of us they say.

And you'll be my someone forever and a day.

I could search the whole world over until my life is through.

But I know I'll never find another you~

*to be continued

Project #1

2012-01-06T12:49:00.005+07:00

Recently, I spent many times with my office partners, Eddo, to do some musics together after office hours. And we just finished our first song titled Monday Morning, Dear. Eddo did the composing and I wrote the lyrics.

"Monday Morning, Dear"

Music: Eddo
Lyrics: Icha

Let me stay here just for a little while
Waking up is the last thing I wanna do
Drag me in to the blanket of yesterday
Where I can hide from you.
Monday morning, Dear

I know I used to believe in tomorrow
Picture a day full of lust and mistletoe
But now I'm nothing but mellow
Just wish I could get rid of you

I want to live somewhere where there's no you
Somewhere where I can skip you
You make my life so blue, I hate you
I'm never ready for you
I hate you
Monday morning, Dear

I've arrived in a restful state of mind
When people leave things instead of do
Here I stand in the edge of a getaway
Wishing theres a bridge to yesterday
Monday morning, Dear

-Instrumental-

Drag me in to the blanket of yesterday
Where I can hide from you.
You make my life so blue, I hate you

~chaa

#nowlingering

2012-01-04T06:17:00.004+07:00

"Do you have the slightest idea? Why the world is bright with you here?

Stay a while and wait and see. If things go right we're meant to be~"

-sondre lerche

chaa~

Opening

2012-01-01T22:39:00.002+07:00

These last few weeks, PK is very busy with its trending-topic: Mitha's wedding. Finally, an opening towards a marriage life among the golden generation. Me and Tiara are in charge of the event with Mom and Dad as the coordinators.

*And not forget to mention that Capt is fully in charge to assist both of us. Hihi.*

Just now, Mami gave a very touching advice to Mitsy:

"Kamu, Mami lepaskan untuk menikah bukan untuk hidup lebih susah. Tapi Mami justru mengharapkan kamu jadi lebih bahagia lahir dan bathin3. Kamu bisa menemukan tendan damai yang sejati."

I do wonder what it would be like to be bride-to-be :")

Aamiin. Wish you joy and happiness always, Sist.

~chaa

2nd Departure

2012-01-01T22:24:00.003+07:00

I really hate tonight.

Lala's vacation is almost over and tomorrow morning she has to go back to Tarnus. I feel very sorry that I didnt use my time with her optimally :"( I know I am going to miss her very badly. That's why I can't help her pack tonight, I may suddenly cry.

I am never good at goodbyes and their atmospheres.

Till we meet again, Lakluk. I love you. I'm going to miss you.

~chaa

Deep Conversation

2012-01-01T07:52:00.002+07:00

It was few months ago that I felt like I was in the least stage of my self-esteem in a post break-up syndrome. Those laughters and funny deep-conversation brought back a confidence in me and showed me that there were still many things I could give for others which they would highly appreciate. And I realized that to give is indeed what things underpin my self-esteem. They made me believe that there are more of me which doesn't have anything to do with physical look that can give others joy.

Those attentions I got were pleasant, and blinding at the same time. And I am thankful for them.

~chaa

how to end year 2011

2011-12-31T14:47:00.008+07:00

In the middle of this sorrow,
somewhere there is still a glow.
And it's to always know
that every minute spent with you ran very slow.
I know this time I may not follow
but we'll meet again at the end of the rainbow.
We just have to believe in tomorrow
when you and I are on the same row,
on the same flow.
And none of us have to let go~

:")

This is project #2! Eddo does the music and I do the lyrics.

~chaa

There Is A Light That Never Goes Out

2011-10-12T17:20:00.003+07:00

Take me out tonight.

Where there's music and there's people
who are young and alive.
Driving in your car,
I never never want to go home
because I haven't got one anymore.

Take me out tonight.
Because I want to see people
and I want to see life.
Driving in your car.
Oh please, don't drop me home.
Because it's not my home, it's their home.
And I'm welcome no more.

And if a double-decker bus crashes in to us,
to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.
And if a ten ton truck kills the both of us,
to die by your side, well the pleasure, the privilege is mine.

Take me out tonight.
Take me anywhere, I don't care.
I don't care, I don't care.
And in the darkened underpass,
I thought Oh God, my chance has come at last.
But then a strange fear gripped me
and I just couldn't ask.

There is a light that never goes out.
There is a light that never goes out.
There is a light that never goes out.
There is a light that never goes out.

~The Smiths

OST. 500 Days of Summer

2011-08-28T08:21:00.003+07:00

it's quiet here.

why it's really quiet here?

i'm in here.

can anybody hear?

i have many things on my mind but i dont know how to describe it.

i dont have an easy way to let them show.

moreover, no one here can hear me.

i can't even tell if somehow there is one here.

there is a big wall around me and it emits a fusion of solitary and vanity.

it is soundproof and shock resistant.

can you tell me what thing i should do to help myself or get help?

-chaa

HBD Dad

2011-08-19T11:48:00.013+07:00

Happy birthday, Papa
I wish you all the best things in this world, in the hereafter, and wherever you are and might be.
Mom and me can only thank you for all the love you've been sincerely giving and all the patience you've been consistently showing.
Thank you for saving our lives, Dad.
You are indeed the star of our universe. :')
*I'll love you till I die*

Save Me

It started off so well. They said we made a perfect pair
I clothed myself in your glory and your love.
How I loved you, how I cried.
The years of care and loyalty were nothing but a sham it seems.
The years belie we lived a lie,
"I'll love you 'til I die"

Save me, save me, save me,
I can't face this life alone.
Save me, save me,
I'm naked and I'm far from home.

The slate will soon be clean.
I'll erase the memories to start again with somebody new.
Was it all wasted, all that love?
I hang my head and I advertise,
a soul for sale or rent.
I have no heart, I'm cold inside.
I have no real intent

Save me, save me, save me,
I can't face this life alone.
Save me, save me,
I'm naked and I'm far from home.
I'm naked and I'm far from home

Each night I cry, I still believe the lie
"I'll love you 'til I die"

Queen

p.s. this lyrics maybe what was represented by us at the darkest hours of our lives and you had answered it with all your life, Dad. Thank you.

love,
Rissa

D - few Wishes

2011-08-15T08:26:00.004+07:00

I don't know why but this year I feel like I'm not in a stage which is still appropriate to have many wishes in a birthday. God has given me almost everything I need (Alhamdulillahi Rabb), everything I want; a job, a chance to pursue my study abroad, a tighter family bond, a piety and kind boyfriend a girl always wish for, a bunch of magnificent best friends and new friends, etc. Needless to say, God also gives me a chance to meet Ramadan this year, somehow He gives me chance to ask His forgiveness and loves.

There are times, indeed, when I really wish for those kind of things. And if I now reflect to those times, I do wish I don't have to go through those anymore. I'm happy with my life right now, I just wish that Allah will take care of my beloved people and always keep them with me, safe and happy. *Oh Lord, the happier they are, the happier I am. Whenever I think of them, I can never say enough gratitude to You.* Considering that it's only a few days to go, let me have one in general:

I do wish I can be a better me to Him and to those whom I love and concern so much.
Amin.

Well, actually, I do really have a special wish. Maybe it's too much but I do wish I will have a chance to have him wish me the best for the first time in 23 years of my life :) I hope this wish is not too much for a birthday daughter. :)
Amin Ya Rabbal Alamiin.

Love,
Marissa

Ar-Rahmaan

2011-08-13T05:47:00.003+07:00

How could I become so ignorant and such a pighead? I deeply regret my 'just-hung-up' action yesterday. I might break their hearts, didnt I? No wonderI can't sleep tonight :'(

Even after hearing my friend, Denden, said "However, Allah's blessing is in your parent's, Cha..", I still couldn't get myself together just yet and still fight over myself among disappointment. I was sorry and I am sorry. *Oh Lord, don't close my heart from your sign, please.*

I spent the night reading and reading quran, trying to have a contemplation moment, and suddenly I can't stand not to apologize. Is it hidayah? And I feel super glad right now. Though, I still have a very big hope to make it happen but*Bismillahirrahmanirrahim* I have to be able to compromise with a selfish side of mine. I realize that I don't have any logical reason not to grant their wishes, for not obeying them. After all these times, after all what they have been giving me, how could I, right?

You don't have to ask how happy I am when I hear about the news. So you don't have to ask how sad I am when I have to let it go. I don't have anyone to tell about this even the closest persons who will understand. I just don't want their opinion (which I'm sure will be supportive for fighting for it) ruin my decision to put a side my ego. Oh life, oh life. I try to put still. I try to keep smiling just like Capt always told me to. Though, I can do it, but why my heart is still stormy? And it hurts.

I stop at Ar-Rahmaan just like Dad often told me to read whenever I am sad, and tears just suddenly burst out without hesitation. I'm feeling so small right now. I realize how selfish I am.

"Fabi ayyi aalaai rabbikumaa tukadzdzibaan. Yas aluhu man fiissamaawaati wal ardhi kulla yawmin huwa fiisya'n~" (55:28-29).

I love them so much. Yes, I really do. I am so sorry Mom, Dad. *hug*

Love,

Marissa

spi #1

2011-08-11T03:49:00.004+07:00

does any of you ever heard that in the beginning of your journey, you already are striken by exhaustion? and do you believe it? because i do. i personally do.

needless to say, you haven't been very far but you're exhausted already. whether yyou are already exhausted and haven't been recovered from your last journey or you have walked so long but you don't really move forward.

or maybe both.

110811,

marissa.

Lesson about Patience

2011-08-10T21:13:00.005+07:00

Stage I.

A : When is the cut-off period of patience, B?
B : We are the one who limit it. It depends on when you want or don't want to. What is it?
A : Just saying. Sometimes I'm afraid that being patience on "something" is interpreted in a wrong way by C. Like cold/ ignorant / fool. Hahaha. While actually, maybe it's a kind of positive thinking. But, my fear is haunting, I sometimes afraid that I am one of those three.
B : You can't just let something bad or wrong happened. If you do, you are one of those three. That is not patience, A. You have to make your best efforts regarding those unpleasant things, it's up to you how.
--

Stage II.
B : What do you feel about “that something”? Do you hate it? Dislike it?
A : Not really. Flat. But I know it isn't right.
B : Have you told C?
A : Nope. I haven't. It didn't do any harm to me so I don't do anything.
B : But you know it isn't right? And yet, you still are in silence. Well, that is selfish and "kikir" if I may say.
A : Astaghfirullahaladzim. Yeah, you're right, B.
B : =)
--

Stage III.

B : I wonder, why bother about “that something” C does?
A : Of course, it is because I love C.
B : Do you think C feel the same way too?
A : That, I am sure.
B : Amin. Good. Well, then I can assume that your "do-nothing" is because of your positive thinking and your patience, then.
A : I never really care whether C feel the same way/doesn't. My best friend taught me a lot about sincerity. And I know that is what I feel to C like. And it is regardless whether C pays me in return.
B : Awww, so sweet.
--

Stage IV.
A : But.. Actually, there are other things.
B : What?
A : I'm not really honest to you. I do feel sad about “that something” but it always happens every time I pray.
B : Why are you sad?
A : That something is unpleasant to me.
B : Well, so it's not that "flat", huh?
A : I hope it's really what you call "tawakal", relying our heart to Kemahakuasaan-Nya, KeMahaadilan-Nya, etc.
B : true but.. after making those best efforts I said earlier. Have you made any?
A : So, my patience does not count as an effort? :D
B : It's counted but are you sure it's the best thing that you can do? Because after the best efforts, then I agree it is tawakal.

*silence for a minute*
A : Subhanallah. How lovely our religion is, B.
B : Indeed. Alhamdulillah Wala ilahaillAllaah Allahuakbar =)
--

love,
Marissa.

Night 8.

2011-08-09T11:09:00.002+07:00

"Puasa Meningkatkan 3 Kecerdasan"

Waktu yangg berlalu tidak mungkin kembali lagi. Bagi yang lahir bulan ini harus ingat bahwa: usia bertambah namun kesempatan amal berkurang. Jadi ketika Allah menyediakanmu Ramadhan sebagai hidangan, beruntunglah bagi kamu yang mau mencicipi, vice versa.

1. Puasa meningkatkan kecerdasan spiritual
Kenapa? Puasa itu tidak jelas berapa pahalanya, lain dengan shalat dan ibadah lainnya (10-700xlipat). Allah berfirman bahwa "Puasa itu untukKu dan Aku nti yang akan membalasnya."
Artinya dengan adanya ketulusan dan keikhlasan, maka spiritual kita tambah cerdas. Semakin kita tenggelam dalam illahi (atmosfer Allah) maka semakin cerdas spiritual kita. Itulah yang dinamakan Tauhid--kesadaran transedental.

2. Puasa meningkatkan kecerdasan emosional
Bersahurlah kamu bukan karena makan semata tapi karena kamu mau mendapatkan berkah (penambahan kebaikan). Sahur itu adalah makan yang dipercepat sampai sebelum fajar. Penekanan sahur bukan pada makan tetapi pada waktu yaitu saatnya kita mampu mengendalikan diri dengan berkontemplasi (seperti zikir). Tahukah kamu bahwa ketika waktu sahur, Allah turun ke dunia, untuk mengabulkan doa hamba2-Nya yang beriman dan mengerjakan puasa. "Wahai Malaikat-Ku, siapakah hamba-Ku yang sakit? Niscaya akan Kusembuhkan. Siapa hambaKu yang susah? Niscaya akan Kumudahkan. Siapa hambaKu yang kekurangan? Niscaya akan Kucukupkan. Siapa hambaKu yang belum mendapat pendamping yang terbaik (jodoh) maka niscaya akan Kuberikan dan Kubukakan jalan terbaik.

Sabar dan pengendalian diri menjadi inti dari puasa. Bisa dengan meminta maaf dan memaafkan kesalahan orang lain. Kita sering lupa memaafkan karena terlalu fokus pada meminta maaf padahal memberi maaf itu lebih mulia. Maafkan kesalahan orang lain karena manusia memang penuh dengan kesalahan dan kekurangan serta semata-mata karena ingin diampuni Allah.
"Maafkan mereka, lapangkan dadamu, lupakan kesalahan mereka; apakah kamu tidak mau diampuni dosanya oleh Allah?"

3. Puasa meningkatkan kecerdasan sosial
Orang yang puasanya baik biasanya dia tdk egois. Dia akan berempati pada orang lain dan dia pasti dermawan. Jangan sampai kita jadi kelompok yang menyesal di hadapan Allah karena pelit.
Carilah Allah tidak hanya di masjid tapi juga di hati orangg yang papa.

Al-Bina, 8 Agustus, 2011.

lesson #1

2011-08-04T17:47:00.003+07:00

Taken from my friend's ym status, Bung Denden IS:

"Ketabahan adalah mencintaimu dalam keheningan,
merindukanmu dalam kesunyian,
dan mendoakanmu dalam kesepian."

I've never known that being with someone can still be very lonely.

But whenever you feel that way and yet you still sincerely pray for them then you have nothing to worry about because you're fighting for what is worth to fight for.

And by doing it, no matter how sad or lonely or maybe even disappointed after everything they have done or happened; you will have no regret :)
Because I believe, when you've found this kind of person, you'll just have to give your best. And sometimes, good intentions seems bad to others. Guess, you just have to be patience. Because He loves those who are patient.

love,
marissa.

piano lesson part I

2010-12-09T23:37:00.002+07:00

I had my first piano lesson with Capt yesterday and it was awesome. It made me realize how genius his left and right brain, and fyi, I couldn't imagine how Freddie Mercury's and Chris Martin's are. I am working on Love of My Life by Queen, the one which Freddie wrote for his ex-girlfriend and his very best friend, Mary Austin, when they broke up. Don't ask me why. I am left by love of my life. He left and did not come back, at least, yet. I hope, he'll come back someday when he listen what I play for him :)

Love of my life, you've hurt me.

You've broken my heart and now you leave me.

Love of my life, can't you see?

Bring it back, bring it back.

Don't take it away from me because you don't know what it means to me.

Love of my life, don't leave me.

You've taken my life, you now desert me.

Love of my life, can't you see?

Bring it back, bring it back.

Don't take it away from me because you don't know what it means to me.

You will remember when this is blown over and everything's all by the way.

When I grow older, I will be there at your side to remind you how I still love you.

I still love you.

Back, hurry back.

Please bring it back home to me because you don't know what it means to me.

Love of my life, Love of my life.

C is strictly forbidden

2010-12-09T23:33:00.002+07:00

I am upset. You know why? Because I hate those C. They annoy me. More importantly, I hate those another C. They trouble me hugely and regularly. And I also hate C because it means I almost fail if I ever get it, right? Oh thank you, I am graduated, sigh.

Chaa.

comprehension

2010-12-09T22:07:00.003+07:00

It's been so long that I've been missing every silly word to say in here. One big update maybe I can tell that I am officially Marissa Danastri, SE. Not a thrill, huh? At least, the journey was. *wait, why am i saying? at least?* It was awesome. And I miss it. I miss school. I want to spend my time studying again. To be honest, I still thirst of many things I haven't enrich myself with. Pathetically, I just realize it now. Yes, in the middle of struggling in the real world: seeking for good job, having opinion about something that might change many of others', doing productive thing, earning money, and even writing my own blog. Yes, I still feel really far away from what I should've become and achieved right now. I am screwed.

I watched many of TV series lately, due to my obsession of avoiding horrible Indonesia's tv shows (red: an indosiar full of Choki Sitohang, exaggerated reality show, sinetron which full of delusion of grandeur, etc). My favorite is House M.D. I love Hugh Laurie so much. Yes, I have an achilles heels for British guys. How come Laurie can describe a sexy genius doctor perfectly? How come his bastard personality become very lovable at the same time? And how does this TV series hasn't lost any mysterious case in all of their episodes? Magnificent. I often thought that somehow being a bastard is really who we really are. As long as we are needed by others, we will still can be a star, like Greg House. Due to my teenage hormonal response, I have Glee and Gossip Girl. I like Glee because basically I love music very much. "I love you till I die.." that's what Freddie Mercury sang in Save Me and it is the line that I am gonna say to Music. A girl named Rachel Berry put me on my edge a little, at first I don't like her very much. She is so annoying and incredibly overacting in every aspect of her life. However, the more I watch Glee, the more I love her. How come? That's because I am a crazy girl who admit there's something in her which really resembles to me. I know it sounds crazy but I do realize that I am a super duper narcissistic drama queen. I hate myself admitting that as much as I love myself for proud of saying my admission *there me goes again, oh Lord*. However, doing everything she can to achieve her goals is also what makes me love her. She may be annoying but all the things she does will not make herself regret in the later time. And I really want myself to feel and do the same, doing my best in every aspect, especially the one I love. I watch Gossip Girl because for me it looks like a fairy tale. I am a realist but who doesn't love and doesn't want fairy tale? Hypocrite. I admit that I am a bit envy. How do those fellas have only few things that worry them just because they have eliminate the big one, yes, money. I, for many times in my dreams, imagine myself to be at ease with money. I often ask myself, when can I withdraw ten million rupiahs just like I do with one thousand rupiahs in the mean time? Hahahaha. Crazy, I know. Have I said I am a realist? Oh yes, I have. The last one, I have Dexter. Hahahaha. I don't have any confession that I am a psychopath or serial killer of course. All I know is what Dexter has been through is horror, he is horror! But he still has many things to be proud of, intelligence, craving for bad guys, lovable person for a sister and a father, etc.

Actually, I really don't know what am I trying to say. I am not sure if I said any of good things here but I think a comprehension of ourselves is really important. To know whether we have done right or wrong, good or bad, best or only better, great or ordinary, is really important. Whenever we have a dream, we achieve it alone. When I said alone, I mean by what we've done. We are the one who dream, who live with it, who struggle for it, and who get it. We can be House, or Rachel, or Chuck Bass. They all are mean, annoying, jerk. However, I know that they struggle for what they are, and they are already stars.

Chaa.

murmured

2010-02-14T12:39:00.002+07:00

why does it always rain on me?
why does my story has to be like this?
why does it happen to me?

:((

beyond

2010-01-29T00:43:00.007+07:00

"Limit

I want someone who can shed away these tears with his hands and staring at me warm, and then he will put a smile on my face just by seeing his.

I want someone who can hold me high with the depth of his faith, who then puts his hand on this shoulder and says that I’m the greatest—at least in his eyes.

I want someone who stands up straight when I’m down and grab my arm and make me stand; he will put his hand on my head and hold me so tight that I fall deeper with pleasure in his arm.

I want someone who wants to hear my murmuring in the middle of the night—at least pretending that he cares—and makes me fall asleep with his sleepy voices.

I want someone who wants to help me throw away all my pain and release me from all these sorrows.

I want someone who is so tender that everyone will jealous when they see his gentle gesture which describes he loves me so much.

But someone is a process. And it is not a DREAM! Though so, it is the dream that could come true. Just through this life with all you can do.=)

Chaa, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 05, 2008"

When i read this old post and look into what my life is now, I do thank God that I already have a person who is beyond those LIMITS.

Happy 4th Monthlyversarry, Capt!

*Alhamdulillah. Indeed, Allah SWT is the only one who knows what is and who is best for us. Amiin.

TOEFranceL

2010-01-28T23:28:00.002+07:00

Actually i am a bit confuse right now what to choose between taking TOEFL course or France course. Though the main reason i am confuse is how do i finance those two. Well, I do think of some ways but I dont have any guts to do that *please, dont think to that side, haha*

Yes, indeed, i NEVER have any guts to do this kind of thing if it's regarding of him. NEVER.

and maybe, WILL never.

Phew.

"..What about taking this empty cup and filling it up
with a little bit more of innocence.
I haven't had enough, it's probably because when you're young
it's okay to be easily ignored.
I like to believe it was all about love for a child.."

Chaa.

Grrr

2010-01-28T22:55:00.003+07:00

i have to say for thousand of times: Arrgh, MEN...

how come they are so bi-polar.

like Katy Perry said: "..you're hot and you're cold. you're yes and you're no.."

men..

when one says A, it could be B to Z in second.

237

2010-01-21T20:48:00.003+07:00

I just add 237 my songs collection from the past to Capt. Crash gadget, and these are my favorites:

When I Fall in Love - Michael Bolton

"When i fall in love, it will be forever or i'll never fall in love...when i give my heart, it will be completely or i'll never give my heart"

Di Dadaku Ada Kamu - Ratu (Mulan Vocal)

St. Anger - Metallica

"..I feel my world shake like an earth quake. It's hard to see clear. Is it me? Is it fear?"

Love Thing - Spice Girls

"..Now don't go wasting my time. You're not the only thing I've got on my mind. My friends are with me when you ain't been around. Your precious words and promises ain't bringing me down. I've got some living to do, don't assume I'm gonna be with you.."

Bridge Over Troubled Water - Johnny Cash

"When you’re down and out. When you’re on the street. When evening falls so hard. I will comfort you, I’ll take your part. When darkness comes and there’s no one you love around. Just like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down. Just like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down.."

Personal Financial Management

2010-01-21T19:42:00.005+07:00

Well, it's been almost a week my Capt taking personal financial management in my class =)

Hmm, i have to admit that it is hard change a lifestyle while i am not a patience mentor.

"I am really really sorry, Capt, if there are many unpleasant things i said and did in order to your excess spending."

*while watching 3 economists and 1 dont-know-what-is-he-ist teach PANSUS economics and algebra.

superlative words

2009-12-01T12:32:00.004+07:00

this current period of my life can only be described by all the superlative words of happiness, grateful, blessed, etc.

and it's all because of you, Capt.

love,
MBQ

on and on, dear.

2009-09-29T09:06:00.002+07:00

I see the crystal raindrops fall,
and the beauty of it all is when the sun comes shining through.
To make those rainbows in my mind when I think of you sometime,
and I want to spend some time with you.

Just the two of us, we can make it if we try.
Just the two of us.
Just the two of us, building castles in the sky.
Just the two of us,
you and I.

We look for love no time for tears.
Wasted water's all that is and it don't make no flowers grow
Good things might come to those who wait, not for those who wait too late.
We gotta go for all we know.

I hear the crystal raindrops fall on the window down the hall,
and it becomes the morning dew.
And darling, when the morning comes and I see the morning sun,
I want to be the one with you.

Dan Ketika

2009-09-27T13:13:00.004+07:00

ketika waktu telah menciptakan cerita tentang kita
mestinya semua indah kini yang terasa.
sejujurnya kadang aku pun tak mengerti peran apa yang kita jalani.
seindahnya dunia ini takkan seindah
bila kumilikimu
dan ku milikmu

bila memang bukan kita yang tentukan
kemana arah cinta ini kan membawa,
berikanlah aku satu jalanMu, Tuhan,
agar aku mengerti apa yang kita jalani kini.

bilakah waktu telah menentukan saatnya
saat untuk bersama, saat saat kita jelang bahagia.

percayalah, sayang, bukan aku tak sayang bila cinta tak mampu bertahan
seindahnya cinta ini takkan seindah
bila kumilikimu
dan ku milikmu

tetaplah tersenyum,
yakinlah waktu telah tentukan saatnya aku denganmu.

-Maliq

farewell

2009-09-27T13:00:00.002+07:00

For million times i have to confess that this quotes is very true,

it's called a break up because it's broken

could not agree more, world.

fortunately, i'm moving on weightlessly.
everything i did, i've dobe, and do are mostly for her and them right now.

farewell,
ichaa.

nobody syndrome recalled

2009-08-26T08:34:00.002+07:00

Why does nobody syndrome things who i used to discuss with my chronic patient, hepi, become so popular in many of my friends. First Roy, and then joining the hospitalized boat, here he comes, Aldi.

Well, the answer is simple: everybody experiences nobody syndrome.

To me, as the one who always cynical about that kind of that symptom, it happened.

August, 2006 (3 years ago) I wrote:

I wish I could have a kind of confidence about my self as everybody does. I do know that I’m joyful, or at least I always thankful for what I have. But I’ve always felt a little awkward about the way people perceive me. I often feel uncomfortable with myself, I don’t know whether it’s common for everyone or it isn’t. And I don’t have any courage in socializing further with people, though I love making friends, but sometimes there’s a part of me forbidding myself to be open even with my closest friends. There's a kinda fear that I cannot tell anybody what is the main reason. I know that it is wrong, I definitely know it. A loner side of mine is thought as picky or maybe cocky. Many persons think that I am a person with a thought that everyone else around me was inferior to me, that they won’t get the classy private things I’m gonna say to them, even if I let them do, I will make jokes about their stupid advise endlessly; which in fact that are truly, madly, deeply untrue. It’s only because I can’t, and period. What makes me wonder is the fact that this thing is happen not only in school but also in my house.

I have an ordinary relationship with my family, and my big fam. It means that’s not a really good relation and that isn’t a really bad relation too. I often wonder why are my sisters have always tried to follow in my footsteps. I don’t think I’m that good to be their role model, though I’ve never been annoyed that copycats ;p but my mom and dad thought it was my compulsory as the oldest. Every time my sisters and I have a conversation, they always put me on a pedestal which I know that ‘s because I’m their big sister. I wish I was that great, but I know I’m not. The truth is I don’t think I’ve ever been the best person I can be. And when it comes down to it, that’s all I’m really shooting for. In my sisters’ eyes, I can do no wrong and sometimes I wish other people saw me the way my sisters do. I even wish I admired myself as mush as they do. Even so, I still think that they have to stop doing that, I want them find out who they really are or what kind of thing that they really want. Moreover, I guess starting from my second year in high school; no parents would ever hope that their adorable and spunky daughters would have a role model as messed up as I was.

It had started innocently enough. I almost could not pursue to my third grade because my absence isn’t enough on few majors. I also often ran away from school just to watch movies, hang out with my peers, or even avoid some majors that I dislike.

Once, I took my 13 girls to escape with an unimaginable way—throwing their bags from second-floor balcony while I waited outside to catch them, then they would go out from school without making our school guard and teachers doubted them. Fortunately, one of the bag was stuck on the school back wall and made all of us panic. My two friends and I had tried to reach and pull it but it didn’t work. Alec, my friend that coincidentally was smoking nearby helped us. He climbed the wall and tried to get the bag, but still, it didn’t work. Striving to get the bag, our noisy voice made one of my ‘killer’ teacher try to find out where was the noise from. And from the second-floor window, he caught us. At the time, Alec could get the bag (thank God!). Suddenly I heard a noise voice—cabal of girl screaming—and I knew that it was my friends trying to runaway from the killer teacher. He chased us! And you know what? We ran away and hided in a small street. Unfortunately, we still had ‘wise heart’ so we came back to school and surrendered. All of the student in my school welcomed us with applause, cheer, and laughter. I felt like one of miss universe candidate that time though the teachers gave an evil stare. Well, ca ne me fait rien!

I don’t know if it was my teenage hormone or what, but I know that hormones really do make us do crazy things. I don’t want to talk about what kind of sanctie the school had given, because the kind of feeling that I felt that time was proud. I didn’t have any regret or fear in my big stubborn head or in my mean heart facing the advisors and teachers. I felt that I was innocent; I left the school because I had no more lessons to study. Why did they want us to stay in school while no more ‘useful’ things that we could do in there. Was that a school or a prison? The truth was it did seem sort of boring to always have the same activity everyday. I need something different to colorize my life. Maybe my rebellious soul was on fire that day. So in a moment of true courageousness I did that remembered incident. (My dad laughed a lot when he heard my story, even though he clearly unhappy, but he didn’t officially shout a lot at me. Thankfully he had the same thought as I had that it wasn’t necessary telling my mom about this.)

Day by day, I became more and busier with my exams and courses. From that time I saw how my parents gave up everything they’ve got only for my successfulness. How they pray for me with all their hearts. Me? I only seemed more and more interested in being in the fringe. To be honest, I began to feel like I was getting into something that was not quite right for me. Suddenly I feel a pang of nostalgia mixed with guilt.

In spite of all the things that have happened, my mom’s the best mom in the world. I begin to realize that her thought is absolutely deserve to be considered. Though I know she is kind of person who is very straightforward. She only has such a strong objection to anything that doesn’t much with her thought, that’s all, and I shouldn’t rock da boat, right?

august 20

2009-08-26T06:55:00.013+07:00

well, i am being twenty something already. what should i say about last August 20 2009. to be honest, that day was quiet a nightmare for me.

. my bruises were still being pains in my a$s

. sudden headache attacked *well, thanks to medical division who gave me paracetamol*

. in an unfortunate coincidence, freak people from Rektorat, let's name her Mrs. Cocky-Against-Stupid-Bullying, protested my committee about the SCL part and gave me a common preach about how the SCL part was not appropriate referring to what western countries did. *yeah, let them become that freakin' individualist who will make your days beautiful because of high numbers of drop out students, madam. Eat that!* And FYI, she did not give any better solution for civilize them in shock therapy way. *sorry, try again next year*

. parental phone(s), i mean phone(ssssssss), came like Gatling shots asked my permission for their MANJA children with so many lies and beyond-senses excuses. *they think i believed of what they said? MAN... IN YOUR DREAMS*

. selfish person insisted me to start my thesis in next semester just because that person knew we wanted the same lecturer for guiding our thesis and said that "Please cha, i wanna graduate", *hell yeah, me too*

. accumulation of exhaustion, both mind and muscles, of three days OPK.

. night confession of the team. it was enough to give me a little bit of heart attack. *keep your spirit, guys*

. sister who suddenly asked me to fetch her, she must have known the consequence of getting home late if she is with me, while i still had an important meeting. and when i already asked permission to leave the meeting just to be able to fetch her, SHE ALREADY WENT HOME. *sucks, really*

. when i got home, me, the one who was blamed by parents for taking my sister home late and i thought they were too busy mad at me and shouted a lot instead of saying happy birthday, honey.

. i skipped my dinner with starving stomach. *i was too full with those anger and these tears*

somehow i beg, God, grab another birthday girl to be tortured, please.

. and of course, you. you still kept the silence within our vanities, even for a birthday daughter.

soundtrack #2

2009-06-20T13:51:00.004+07:00

as days go by and fade to nights,
i still question why you left.
i wonder how it didn't work out.
but now you're gone.
and memories all i have for now.
but no, it's not over.

we'll get older, we'll get over.
we'll live to see the day that I hope for.
come back to me.
i still believe that we'll get it right again.
we'll come back to life again.
we won't say another goodbye again.
you'll live forever with me.

someday, someday, we'll be together.
someday, someday, we'll be together.

i heard someday might be today.
mysteries of destinies,
they are somehow and are someway.
for all we know, they come tomorrow.

for today,
my eyes are open,
my arms are raised for your embrace.
my hands are here to mend what is broken.
to feel again, to walk on the face.

i believe there is more to life.
i love you much more than life it self.
i believe i can change your mind,
revive what is dying inside.

and someday, someday, we'll be together.
someday, someday, we'll be together.
someday, someday, we'll be together.
we'll be together.
we'll be together,
someday.

(someday by john legend)

irrational part one

2009-06-11T17:05:00.004+07:00

why are we too different.
and why that difference is underpinning every single thing that we do.

are we too different?
if so then why am i in too deep.

sometimes,
i wish i could tell you,
and sometimes i wish i really do.

sometimes,
i wish we can make it come true.
and sometimes i wish we really do.

dear you,

star trek

2009-06-09T18:37:00.010+07:00

I confess that i have forgot what was the old movie of start trek was, but i remember that my parents love to see that all the time. and when i saw the movie on June 7, 2009, i feel like i know nothing because it's been a long time. my memory is like a blurry pictures of the spaceship.
However, i did enjoy the movie and start to wonder what 'did' the stars on the movie would like in the 'future'.

and above all, my favorite stars are Hikaru Sulu and Pavel Chekov!!!

the script : another infatuation of british band.

2009-06-02T18:51:00.006+07:00

this is another infatuation of british music: The Script.

The Man Who Can't be Moved

going back to the corner where i first saw you.
gonna' camp in my sleeping bag, i'm not gonna move.
got some words on the cardboard, got your picture in my hand,
saying : "if you see this girl, can you tell her where I am?".

some tries to hand me money, they don't understand.
I'm not broke, I'm just a broken-hearted man.
I know it makes no sense but what else can I do?
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you?

'cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth i could be,
thinking maybe you come back here to the place where we'd meet,
and you see me waiting for you on the corner of the streets,
so, i'm not moving, i'm not moving.

policeman says: "son, you can't stay here"
i say: "someone i'm waiting for, if it's a day, a month, a year".
gotta stand my ground, even if it rains or snows.
if she changes her mind, this is the first place she will go.

they will talk about the guy, who's waiting on a girl.
he got no holes in his shoes, but a big hole in his world.
maybe i get famous as the man who can't be moved.
maybe you won't mean to but you see me on the news.
and you come running to the corner 'cause you know it's just true.
i'm the man who can't be moved.
i'm the man who can't be moved.

here, they are...

light turqois car

2009-06-02T18:12:00.004+07:00

if i could choose what car i want to ride to campus,
and in what color it should be is;
this is the answer.
sometimes, dreaming may be painful.

embarassment to the max

2009-06-01T18:15:00.004+07:00

considering current issues about Manohara Odelia Pinot who suffered from physical-emotional-sexual-mental abused by his husband--one of number one(s) people in Malaysia, we should be very ashamed of what our government has done for protecting their citizens. NOTHING.

what a sruprised when i heard that US embassy was the oone who was proactive to protect our own citizen abroad. How on earth that thing could happen?

another embarassment, of course, came from he who is one of number one(s) people in Malaysia who acted like a psycho and loser instead of being the adorable and admirable person in his country. he should be the one who should act with macro consideration--state's and nation's sake at first--not micro behaviour--maximizing his own utility and satiation.

hopefully, i won't meet that kind of guy. or even person like that in the rest of my whole life.
Amiin.

merindukanmu

2009-05-31T22:37:00.002+07:00

saat aku tertawa diatas semua.
saat aku menangisi kesedihanku.

aku ingin engkau selalu ada.
aku ingin engkau aku kenang.

selama aku masih bisa bernafas,
masih sanggup berjalan, ku 'kan selalu memujamu.
meski ku tak tahu lagi engkau ada dimana.
dengarkan aku, ku merindukanmu.

saat aku mencoba merubah segalanya.
saat aku meratapi kekalahanku.

aku ingin engkau selalu ada.
aku ingin engkau aku kenang.

[D'Masiv]

Worthington's Salvation

2009-05-30T19:03:00.004+07:00

i have just watched Terminator Salvation in Pondok Indah today and my conclusion is Sam Worthington is damn hot!!! Bale's charisma has been overrode by him. Viva MARCUS WRIGHT, the one and only handsome-hot-gorgeous spionage robot!!!

my critique would be: the phase when the movie said that John Connor is the savior for the judgement day is not being emphasized in this movie. err.. it was not because my attention had gone to Wright all the time, okay!

Exam-Utility Maximization

2009-05-29T19:24:00.007+07:00

Introduction
though everyone keep asking how could i was still able to read comics during the final exam but i think i have my own theory here. and though (again) i haven't done any hypothesis testing to ensure this is valid, at least, it worked for me.

Literature review:
Leontief function of labor worked in Keynesian with sticky wages (Scarth, chapter 3, Classical and Keynesian Model) Nmin= Y1,Y2.

Theory:

U = min (S,C)

dU/dS > 0 ; dU/dC > 0

U'' (S) <>subject to 24 hours and leisure (other activities beside studying and comic-ing)

Economic Analysis:
well, i just assumed that during EXAM, utility is leontief function of studying and comic-ing. and the constraint for maximizing the utility is 24 hours per day and leisure time which is other activities beside learning.

i won't explain the maximization but i will explain how the mechanism is. utility is the combination of S and C. When I prefer S, it means the utility of S is very high but at one point it will diminish and the C will give me more utility.

Implication:
What I was doing in last exam was maximizing utility of comic-ing until it diminished and at that time i would need the utility from study-ing.

Empirical evidence and Critique:
The speed of diminishing marginal utility from comic-ing is way too slow--moreover, almost rigid, so it is not U'' (C) > 0 but U'' (C) is infinite. and the speed of diminishing marginal utility is way too fast.

Urrrrghhh. But still, effective then.

i love it, always

2009-05-16T12:01:00.004+07:00

how sad that today is the last lecture of Advanced Macroeconomics with my inspiring lecturer. though i'll still have to bear with the its final exam on May 29 which i don't want to think about right now. i had great great great times learning chapters form William Scarth in this class *also Dornbusch, Barro, and Romer*.

starting with Microeconomics Foundation: firms in standard macro model, household in standard macro model, and labor market. Structural Equation: introduction of Expectation Augmented Phillips Curve for AS. Classical and Keynesian *with one s, of course* Model: labor market for AS. classical dichotomy, money-wage rigidity and price rigidity. Expectation: perfect oresight, rational expectation, forget another one.

and then go on with Rational Expectation and Lucas Critique: how not stupid are the agents, how microeconomic foundation underpinning macroeconomics in the behavioral assumptions (maximizing utility and minimizing cost). Intrinsic Dynamics: Ricardian Equivalence concept which doesn't change consumption behaviour in normal condition, Budget Deficits and Government budget constraint, also how it finance it (bond issuing or money creation). Open Economy: Mundell-Fleming model, nominal and fixed exchange rates, how exchange rates regime affect the effectiveness of economic policies. Growth Theory: Solow model (F,K,A), exogenous of technology, knowledge, etc., and the Sticky Wages, Menu-Cost, Union etc.

All I can say is I LOVE ADVANCED MACROECONOMICS!!!

kaspersky

2009-05-13T12:00:00.003+07:00

Thank God, i am so glad that i've already installed this my ORIGINAL anti-virus called Kaspersky 2009. After master Uch gave me many assistance for the installation and before the installation *which i couldn't mention here because the aid may be claimed by several parties*.

Thanks again to Uchal and Aldi for buying this original anti-virus and let me join them. I love you, Guys. And I love you, Kaspersky.

finishing touch

2009-05-12T13:29:00.003+07:00

i hope this one will be the real finishing touch of my political economics paper which i'm sure it won't be. I haven't put many data on it but it is already 5 pages with one space. Ugh... I have to think about manipulating the margin and the font.

well, i just put the game theory of international trade which Bang Dede taught me yesterday and also some flavours f the game theory by John McMillan. interesting, interesting. what i can conclude is international trade is the sexiest subject ever!!!

conference-call learning

2009-05-11T09:39:00.004+07:00

i'm not sure who is on the phone with Bang Dede but I'm very sure that I heard that she said: "..you are the Deputy Senior, Bu.." and then they are talking about lowering the BI rate until 6% and the inflation should be around or even under 5%. They're mostly talking about our central banks, 3 types of inflations: core inflation, food and commodity prices volatility, and imported inflation *if i'm not mistaken*.

well, right now Bang Dede is talking about the decreasing number of debt to GDP and the private consumption and also tax cut. Also, he says that in economy they we are not talking about the number of people but the total value.

I don't know what am i doing. Hahahahaha. But I think that the conference call is very interesting because it just like a lecture! All of what he is saying are lessons. Hahahahaha. New method of learning, bye bye Student Center Learning (SCL) and Problem Based Learning (PBL)!

international economics seminar class

2009-05-11T08:37:00.003+07:00

i'd just told by shasha that today class would be given by M. Chatib Basri but until now he has not come until now. well, it's not a brig problem because i can use this time to manage my blog, right? or else i won't be able to write this post.

midnight sun

2009-05-10T20:28:00.004+07:00

at first, i just curious whether the book is already released or not but then i figure it out that this book is already spreading all over the world. well, i have been waiting for it like my whole life *LEBAY* but i'm noticing it now? Hell, no.

Well, wise man says it is better that we late than nothing at all. Is it? But this lateness tortures me, okay! Because i already know that Indonesia hasn't received any copy of this book *not to mention the illegal pdf of draft via internet*.

midnight sun is the Edward Cullen's version of the twilight. as we already knew that twilight is taken from Bella Swan's sight *err...which obviously i don't care if Edward Cullen is not in it*. Please God, let me read the book immediately. Amin.

uchal and alia birthdays celebration

2009-05-10T08:22:00.011+07:00

we just celebrated uchal and alia birthday in Hartz Chicken Buffet, Pasar festival. we were 18 persons who were starving and suddenly finished everything in front of our eyes.

my favorite is Spicy Fried Kwetiaw, Fish Paprika and Bbq Sauced Roasted Chicken. They were able to give me optimal utility in the middle of that price discrimination mode.

the one who couldn't stop eating was Aldi. when it came to the very end of the eating time, he was still able to tell me: "Cha, I think I still can stand for another menu here." and at time, Wibi was already so shuted down by his fullness that he couldn't move or even talk.

the next mission was 2 hours karaoke in inulvista, still at pasar festival. we booked the XL room for 20 persons though Radhi and her girlferiend already left. the room was great, so large and got the rest room inside. there were 3 microphones so it would be easier on mic-turnover.

it was opened by the usual song: Mari ercinta by Aura Kasih *well, i've been debating with aldi about her compared to MJ. and i was on MJ side.* i sang Go On Girl by Ne Yo, Take A Bow by Rihanna and also Toxic by Britney Spears. Those were on mu playlist songs, btw. We also sang many ALAY songs just like Ular Berbisa by Hello, Suara by Hijau Daun, Alasanmu by Exist. We also didn't forget to sing the recent echoing songs just like Resah Tanpamu by Titi Kamal feat. Anji Drive, Teruskanlah by Agnes Monica, and also Bukan Cinta Biasa by Afgan. Cintaku bukanlah cinta biasa jika kamu yang memiliki dan kamu yang temaniku seumur hidupku.

But the song wich i did love to sing for most was Kiss from a Rose by Seal:
*there is so much a man can tell you, so much he can say. you remain my power, my pleasure, my pain. to me you are like a grown addiction that i can't deny, won't you tell me is it healthy, baby?*

after all, the winner was the trio of Faisal Rachman (ichall), Aldi Riza fachri (aldi oce), and Marissa Danastri (ichaa) singing MASIH ADA by ELLO. We got 97 points!!! Yeah. though it was till beatable by my record singing Semakin Hari Semakin Cinta by Ratu with my sister. But still, it was fun!

and the karaoke did not end up there, it just like echoes along on the way to home.
despite of everything, i love this day, still.

proof

2009-05-10T08:04:00.004+07:00

may 10, 2009.
uchal and alia birthday celebration @ hartz chicken buffet, kuningan.

this one should be a proof that i did thought about him and him secretly, regularly, and seriously. but why i didn't text or call was because i was too scared about the consequences i might be in. there is nothing left which was able to encourage me.
sorry. stupid. sorry. stupid. sorry. stupid.

things bothered

2009-05-09T20:32:00.005+07:00

(i) i should had replied my friend's important text but i didn't because i hadn't decided anything yet. Stupid stupid stupid. Sorry, dude!

(ii) i was in the middle of having fun, celebrated my best friends birthday but deep down inside i couldn't stop wondering *worrying, actually* about his birthday celebration. did he celebrate it himself? who made his favorite meals or asked him to hang out? or gave him a big birthday kiss and hug? everytime i thought about this i suddenly put up my cell phone and was ready to call or text but always ended with a big sigh. *do you know how my heart have been crying all along, dear?*

(iii) i sang a lot of songs for him but i thought it became a misleading for everyone who heard them. *cintaku bukanlah cinta biasa jika kamu yang memiliki dan kamu yang temaniku seumur hidupku* hahahahaha.

(iv) everytime i heard about that tribe was being discussed, i couldn't breath. was such feeling a 'missing'? it felt like being dumped by a lover. sucks. every breath is HURT. the more i tried to forget by those f*ckin fake smiles and laughters, the more my heart hurt, cried, and broke. Wht wa that actually?

(v) this vulnerable relationship is just a euphoria for him.

5pm class

2009-05-08T16:49:00.003+07:00

I'm still in International Financial Economy lecture by Prof. Dr. Miranda S. Goeltom (Senior Deputy of Indonesia's Central Bank) while right now it is already 5pm. Please, Mrs. Miranda, I need a break here. Can we finish it now? I have sisters who wait me to buy her noodle. *hahahahahha*

soundtrack #1

2009-05-07T22:06:00.004+07:00

"...If you're leaving will you take me with you? I'm tired of talking on my phone. But there is one thing I could never give you, my heart would never be your home...

--Stand By Me by Oasis

"...I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand. If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am? Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms?..."

--If You're Not the One by Daniel Beddingfield

"...Did you want me to change? Well, I change for good. And I want you to know that you'll always get your way. And it's you I see, but you don't see me. And it's you I hear, so loud and so clear. I sing it loud and clear. And I'll always be waiting for you. So I look in your direction but you pay me no attention. And you know how much I need you but you never even seen me. Don't you shiver?..."

--Shiver by Coldplay

"...Stop and stare. I think I'm moving but I go nowhere. I know that everyone gets scared. But I've become what I can't be. Stop and stare. You start to wonder why you're 'here' not 'there'. And you'd give anything to get what's fair but fair ain't what you really need. Can't you see what I see?..."

--Stop and Stare by One Republic

"...I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now. And all the roads we have to walk along are winding. And all the lights that lead us there are blinding. There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how. Because maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me. And after all you're my wonderwall..."

--Wonderwall by Oasis

May 8, 2009

2009-05-07T21:50:00.004+07:00

That day will be your birthday.
I wish you all the very best things in this world.

I hope the sun will remain shining on our vulnerable relationship.
I hope your light won't fade until I can have my own.
I hope there is a way to conduct a better mechanism of every single thing happens between us.
I hope this life won't be too hard for you ever since I'm in.

I hope you are always fine.

and I do hope, you will always love me as much as I do.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

with love,
a girl, a daughter, a friend, a stranger.

an upgrade

2009-05-06T22:46:00.006+07:00

Horrray!!!
I just did an upgrade for my blog that is the Echoes in Eternity playlist. Hopefully, it will help me to encourage myself to visit my blog more often. Hahahaha.
I love the way I put TOXIC by Britney Spears (whose videos I watch over and over agin) in the first so that everyone knows that the girl who wrote this blog has been suffering from toxic and need to be intoxicated. *wth*
Just like Britney sings: intoxicate me now with your love now, i think i'm ready now.

Anyway, I just downloaded some local songs that I missed so much such as Haruskah Ku Mati by Ada Band, Kau yang Terindah and Gerangan Cinta by Java Jive, and I would like to find more of them.
Old local songs, here I come!!!

nggak kenceng

2009-04-15T13:54:00.004+07:00

Right now I am gathering around with Sasha, Riko, Widi (the group who will present chapter 5 and chapter 6 of Scharth in Advanced Macroeconomics Lecture tomorrow) and Hepi. Actually, I am waiting for Wibi to have lunch because I really want to eat Yamien KaFE. Until now, he has not showed up. Huffh...

efforts

2009-04-04T01:38:00.003+07:00

everybody deserves what they've already deserved.
they don't have to be hesitate for what they get.
they just have to accept it with all their gratitudes because those represent their efforts.
just accept it, people.

and i officially congratulate my sister who just got in to Yellow Jacket Community.

welcome, sist. wish you all best luck!

countries i would love to visit

2009-04-03T18:11:00.008+07:00

1. Japan
I obsess to go to Japan since I was a elementary. Maybe because of those supply of comics (read: esper mami, doraemon, and p-man). When I read about those districts like Ginza, Shibuya, and Shinjuku; I feel like I wanna be there someday. So, when I heard that my advanced macroeconomics *sounds scary, no?* lecturer said that he would go to Tokyo for two weeks was like world is so unfair. How come he can be that easy *and still charming, though* said that in front of me who's wanting that so bad!!! Hahaha. Well, I hope I'll be there someday.

2. United Kingdom
Well, I don't know how come this country impress me with things i call 'calm and cool'. I always want to study there, let's say LSE or Oxford? *big dream, girl!!* And I always think they're British people are brilliant right? You can see from their musicians like Chris Martin (Coldplay), Noel Gallagher (Oasis), Matthew Bellamy (Muse), and others. They are genious, you know! And how on earth you don't want to pass Kingston Road and find see Chris Martin is lifting his groceries bags with her damn-bitch wife, Gwyneth Paltrow. Oh Boy...
Well, i heard that John Maynard Keynes is also British. And I also heard that he is genious isn't he?

3. Italy
I am a huge fan of AC MILAN! I would love to go there and the first place I would love to visit is Guiseppe Meazza Stadium and I hope I would find Ricardo Kaka is practicing there with his men. Well, I promised myself wherever Ricardo Kaka is, I'll be there. Hahaha. And by the way, who's on earth who doesn't want to go to Milan? I think it's the art of fashion. Well, although I cannot afford anything, at least, I can walk through the stores of Giorgio and Emporio Armani, Gianni Versace, Valentino, Roberto Cavalli, etc.
I heard there is one tower that is famous in Rome... Err,, i think it's Leaning Tower--Pisa, am i right?

4. Switzerland
The reason why I really want to go to Switzerland is apparently because of my doctor. Since I was a little, i have an asthma and my doctor always suggest me to grow up fast and then go to Switzerland because the country is suit to me. Oh really??? Well, I hope I can be there someday and see whether my doctor is right or not. Besides, many famous chocolates are produced there, right? It's kinda cool when I enjoy chocolate in the middle of afternoon discussing economy with my husband in Bern, Basel, Geneva or Zurich. Or maybe someday I can join Davos Meeting! Yes, THE Davos Meeting. Haaahahahaha.

5. Saudi Arabia
Of course I want to complete my pillars of Islam, going on Haj. But I think, I have to visit another city when I go there. I have someone whom I always want to meet everyday in my life. I have to go to Al Khobar. I wish I could =)

moderation

2009-03-30T16:55:00.002+07:00

everytime i face exam (both middle and final) i always feel like i want to escape.
maybe because of knowing that myself KNOWS NOTHING of those super-boring subjects. (bah!)

i really need a moderation due to this syndrome.
and i usually find it at night while doing silence of the lamb (wth), i mean NGELAMUN.

CHANGE

2009-03-30T15:15:00.002+07:00

Well, what you're seeing in the title of my posting does not mean that I am joining those kind of freak election guys who copy Obama's taglines or ideas. The title means that I've changed the description of this blog from extraordinary life of mine into significant things uploaded in mind. When I read it, indeed, it has no connection with the my blog title. However, who care?

Hahaha.

Daughters

2008-12-05T10:42:00.002+07:00

I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
But she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change
And I've done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Oh, you see that skin?
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she's left
Cleaning up the mess he made

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without the warmth from
A womans good, good heart

On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

by: john mayer

wet nightmare?

2008-12-02T06:36:00.005+07:00

actually, i was not going to make a post but i think this is necessary.
this story happened when me, my sisters, and my friends came to 31st Jazz Goes to Campus (JGTC).

phew,
it was 'wet nightmare' for us. we just watched jazz singer from Brazil *though, i did not enjoy her singing at all*, and the rain suddenly poured. heavier than ever.

you should see this.

and suddenley we became...

hufhh...

relief

2008-11-28T15:42:00.001+07:00

now i can breath deeply and say that i am relief.

and i extremely happy.

thanks dad.

i love you.

encouragement

2008-11-28T12:38:00.003+07:00

I've encouraged myself.

I don't know how this start meets its end.

But I hope it is a good start.

I won't ask anything.

I just want to know.

That's all.

may the force be with you.

To Reveal

2008-11-28T09:03:00.003+07:00

I feel that I can't wait to reveal these things. I don't want to be in hurry but I feel that I really want to do it. God, please help me. I can't stand for this anymore. I need to be my self in front of this person.

may the force be with you.

most of this week

2008-11-26T12:43:00.004+07:00

1. lirih [chrisye]
"..kini ku tahu tak mungkin ada waktu untuk mencintaimu lagi. adakah kau mengerti kasih rindu hati ini tanpa kau di sisi.."

it's line that's left unspoken for someone who i never really know. well, i know he will be very touched when he hear this.

2. love will keep us alive [eagles]
"..Now I've found you, there's no more emptiness inside. When we're hungry, love will keep us alive.."

i heard pengamen sang this song when I was on my way to my mom's office by bianglala 134 [depok-grogol]. Despite of his influent english, he sang it very well actually.

3. lagu sedih [mulan jameela]
"..ke mana perginya kamu yang dulu, yang maunya selalu dekat dengan aku... Katamu kau tak akan tinggalkan aku, lukai aku, sakiti aku. Tapi kau ternyata tinggalkan aku sendiri. Katamu kau tak akan pernah duakan hatimu, cintamu.."

well, this song is always played by mom in her car. and if memorize every story that i ever heard, then i uderstand. well, it's hurt.

4. moon river [frank sinatra/joey mcintyre]
"..Moon river wider than a mile. I'm crossing you in style someday. You dream maker, you heartbreaker. Wherever youre going I'm going your way. Two drifters off to see the world. There's such a lot of world to see. We're after the same rainbows end, waiting round the band. My huckleberry friend, moon river and me.."

i love this song very much since frank sinatra sang it. i do love it when my cousin have it play on last lebaran.

5. superman (it's not easy) [five for fighting]
"..It may sound absurd but don’t be naive. Even Heroes have the right to bleed. I may be disturbed but won’t you concede. Even Heroes have the right to dream. It’s not easy to be me... I’m only a man in a silly red sheet digging for kryptonite on this one way street. I'm only a man in a funny red sheet, looking for special things inside of me.."

yesterday, me and my friends had a karaoke in ulay's house. this one of my favorite song that we sang.

6. kangen [maliq & d'essentials]
"..Bawalah daku bersama ke dalam setiap langkahmu, di manapun engkau berada. Kangen aku pada dirimu tiada akan dapat kuobati tanpa ku belai rambutmu, kucium pipimu, dan kunikmati senyummu.."

suddenly i remembered when i went to acoustic across with him in upper room nikko and watched maliq sang this song. phew, i miss that time.

7. superhuman [chris brown feat. keri hilson]
".. But that's the moment u came to me. I don't know what your love has done to me, think I'm invincible. I see though the me I used to be. You changed my whole life. I don't know what your doing to me with your love. I'm feeling all super human, you did that to me. A super human heart beats in me. Nothing can stop me here with you... My only weakness is you, only reason is you.."

i watched this viedo clip when i was going to go to ulay's house. well, actually i don't really like this kind of song but the content kills. really.

8. kisah romantis [glenn fredly]
"..Dan dengarlah sayaangku. Aku mohon kau menikah denganku. Yaang, hiduplah denganku. Berbagi kisah hidup berdua.."

when i watched asteroid in auditorium with andra, nabir, and wibi; i found many of the bands sang this song.

may the force be with you.

unspoken line

2008-11-26T12:04:00.002+07:00

kini telah ku sadari
dirimu telah jauh dari sisi
ku tahu tak mungkin kembali ku raih
semua hanya mimpi

ingin ku coba lagi
mengulang yang telah terjadi
tetapi semua sudah tak berarti
kau telah pergi

adakah kau mengerti kasih
rindu hati ini tanpa kau di sisi
mungkinkah kau percaya kasih
bahwa diri ini ingin memiliki lagi

ku sadari kembali
ternyata semua hanya lirih
kini ku tahu tak mungkin ada waktu
untuk mencintaimu lagi

thursday lunch

2008-11-21T12:05:00.004+07:00

Makan siang bersama Nabir, Hepi, Widii, dan juragan Wibi di kafe baru. Menu nya Malibu yang sekarang ini udah ganti nama jadi Real Madrid. Hufffh, padahal kalo la liga gw ngedukung Barcelona *nggak ada hubungannya*.

Hepi nyerah nunggu ayam bakar mentega di tempat tongseng nggak dating-dateng jadi beralih makan cwi mie malang.

Sedangkan Widi yang udah mantep mesen ayam goreng di masakan padang yakin banget bakal ada yang makan daun singkong dan sayur nangkanya *considering she doesn’t like any veggies*, dan akhirnya gw bantu menghabiskan sayur nangka.

Juragan wibi makan pecel ayam yang udah lama nggak pernah dia makan, dan Nabir makan yamien padahal tadinya berniat puasa. Hehehehehe.

Fyi, gw minum dua botol aqua loh seperti yang disuruh pacall.

Heheheehehe.

Lover's Affair in Advanced Microecnomics

2008-11-21T11:59:00.002+07:00

Kamis, 19 November 2008

Keadaan kelas yang gw tinggalkan selama dua jam, tengah membahas Uncertainty: Expected Utility dengan Lottery case dan Principal Agent Problem. Untuk menghabiskan last minute, Pak Aco merangkap jadi konsultan spesialis principal agent problem buat murid-murid di kelasnya. Dan muncullah wacana: gimana biar pacar nggak selingkuh?

And Pak Aco’s answer was:

Say, you know how much I love you. But if you hurt me, I can be very evil. Don’t even try, honey.

*I’ve got your secret and I have all access to the internet*

Hahahahaahahaaha.

Hey ya all boy friend and girl friend all over the world! Don’t even try to mess up with Pak Aco’s students or you are so death!

alone

2008-11-21T11:49:00.000+07:00

the moment i left from airport, i tried hard to manage my emotion (read:tears) in front of other passengers who passed by but i couldn't.

i waited for the bus and tried to distract myself with chocolate sundae of A&W which I dreamed to eat before, but it was in vain.

i tried very very hard to smile when i saw the plane took off but i failed.

i just realized that i had never felt so alone before.

Denial

2008-11-06T15:24:00.000+07:00

I was wondering what people usually do when they cannot change something unchangeable. Do they give up? Or do they attempt a big denial for an impossible changing? Phew. I had to be honest that my mind was working overtime to find all the possibilities and to come up with all the reasons that justified or even helped somebody to do this. It was hard not to rock one’s brain though.

Then my mind came up to the trans-genders who manipulated the nature force and changed. Or maybe I could think about moderate example (not being ruled by nature) of strikers in United States who voted for McCain and provoked civilians to rid of Obama while he was celebrating his winning. Or even couples who have to be apart because they have different colors, white and colors (ooouw, it must be hurt, though one of the suckiest and most frustrating facts of life was that sometimes relationships just end with unconditional reason *damn* though my mind came up with Michael Jackson right away). Well, quiet pathetic to me. They knew that change cost them priceless things and it was in vain.

It’s nothing but a denial.

I don’t even dare to think of any of those attempts. Coward, I know.

Limit

2008-03-05T18:46:00.002+07:00

I want someone who can shed away these tears with his hands and staring at me warm, and then he will put a smile on my face just by seeing his.

I want someone who can hold me high with the depth of his faith, who then puts his hand on this shoulder and says that I’m the greatest—at least in his eyes.

I want someone who stands up straight when I’m down and grab my arm and make me stand; he will put his hand on my head and hold me so tight that I fall deeper with pleasure in his arm.

I want someone who wants to hear my murmuring in the middle of the night—at least pretending that he cares—and makes me fall asleep with his sleepy voices.

I want someone who wants to help me throw away all my pain and release me from all these sorrows.

I want someone who is so tender that everyone will jealous when they see his gentle gesture which describes he loves me so much.

But someone is a process.
And it is not a DREAM!
Though so, it is the dream that could come true.
Just through this life with all you can do.=)

Nggak Kenceng 6

2007-12-21T21:06:00.000+07:00

Fri- December 21st, 2007.

Well, well, well.

I've just gont to Bogor to spend my fri-holiday with my family.
Well, I guess there's nothing wrong with using that chance to meet him *huahahahahaha*.
I text him and he said he'd meet me at mp *it's not malam pertama but makaroni panggang, okay*.
And then we met.

Well,
it's weird enough.
I felt like I haven't met him for ages.
And it felt like heaven to meet him there.
He's just left for 48 hours and I've missing him like hell.

Silly?!

I know.

Huffh..

Hard.

Tough.

I know.

ChaTenarAbisIsMissingHimSoMuch

Hahahahahahahaha.

yesterday

2007-12-01T12:03:00.000+07:00

Huffh.
Akhirnya satu kepanitiaan kelar.
Nggak kerasa sekarang udah akhir November *means: UAS's coming!*,
padahal kayaknya baru kemaren Pleno KE *iya apa?*.
Baru kemaren sibuk2 bikin flyer, poster, dll.
Baru kemaren sama Riko n Andra ke tempat Pak Djatun.
Baru kemaren liat Fia minta donasi ke Faisal Basri.
It's all felt like yesterday...

Just like me, myself, who wishes everything's just like yesterday.
*apa sii, Cha...*

I really need a break.
And the 'break' is coming.
Yeah, final exam is.

>_<

Nggak Kenceng [4]

2007-11-15T19:24:00.000+07:00

Thursday,
November 15th, 2007.

Tired..
Get bored..
Stick with this same damned condition..

Once again,
back to those times..

Huffh..
I hope these things will end soon..

*cantwaitforcrazyingatJGTCwiththem*

luph them,
mmuaaah...
mmuaaah...

my dear [1]

2007-11-09T21:54:00.000+07:00

kedamaian.

saya akhirnya berdamai dengan Tuhan.
saya berhenti merengek dan mengemis,
meminta kebahagiaan dan senyum di hati saya.

saya tidak lagi berdoa agar saya dicintai,
tapi saya akan berusaha,

menjadi orang yang lebih baik
dan mencintai tanpa menghapus senyum dari wajah dia…

*dikutip dari http://ramdaffe.wordpress.com/*

to she-whom-it-dedicated-for,
you're lucky, dear.
You know you are.
I know how it feels, hon.

May the force be with you, both.

That's Why I Love Him [them]

2007-11-09T21:26:00.000+07:00

Marissa Danastri: Roy
Marissa Danastri: hibur gw
Marissa Danastri: please..
Marissa Danastri: huuuw.
Marissa Danastri: i wanna quit
Roy the DON: why's that?
Marissa Danastri: i cant stand for everything right now
Roy the DON: napa?
Marissa Danastri: confusing
Roy the DON: Wha?
Marissa Danastri: full with uncertainty
Marissa Danastri: killing myself slowly
Marissa Danastri: huuuw
Roy the DON: Uda napa?
Marissa Danastri: i feel really2 lonely
Roy the DON: Ah gak jelas..
Marissa Danastri: I feel so alone.
Marissa Danastri: Lonely.
Marissa Danastri: Though I'm in the middle of the crowd
Roy the DON: nape?
Roy the DON: ade ape?
Marissa Danastri: I dunno.
Roy the DON: Ya knapa?
Marissa Danastri: All those tiring activities.
Roy the DON: Lha gw g bs hibur lw klo lw gak tau knapa..
Roy the DON: Knapa aktivitas2 itu bikin lw ksepian..
Marissa Danastri: I'm getting far from you, guys.
Roy the DON: Bknnya hrsnya lw malah ngerasa jd rame..
Marissa Danastri: Being buzy all along but alone.
Roy the DON: Sbtlnya lw msh bisa..
Roy the DON: Tp lw terlalu terbawa keadaan..
Marissa Danastri: so
Marissa Danastri: how am i suppose to do?
Roy the DON: Cobalah bwt menanggapi kegiatan dengan santai..
Roy the DON: Tp bertanggung jawab..
Roy the DON: Klo lw ngerasa jauh dr kita..
Roy the DON: Luangin waktu lw..
Roy the DON: Itu yg slalu gw lakuin..
Marissa Danastri: semuanya bentrok gitu aja, roy.
Roy the DON: Coz tmen2 gw adlh tmpt share gw..
Roy the DON: Klo gw sibuk..
Marissa Danastri: kalo ada kesempatan,
Roy the DON: Gw malah minta bantuan dr mreka..
Marissa Danastri: gw pasti luangin waktu untuk sama lo semua.
Roy the DON: Ksmptan itu ada cha..
Roy the DON: Tp lw terlalu terbawa ama keadaan sibuk..
Roy the DON: Sampe lw lupa klo itu sbnrnya ada..
Roy the DON: Sbg sesuatu yang unstressful..
Roy the DON: Let it be fun..
Roy the DON: Jgn dianggep stressing..
Roy the DON: Itulah gw..
Marissa Danastri: but it is hard
Roy the DON: Yg gw lakuin klo gw stres..
Roy the DON: It's not hard..
Marissa Danastri: it's not as easy as to say
Roy the DON: It depends on what you want..
Roy the DON: what you wish..
Roy the DON: Gw mrasa pekerjaan gw lbh enteng krn..
Roy the DON: gw tau gw pny tmen2 yg bakal bantu gw..
Roy the DON: Krn itu mrekalah tmpt gw relax..
Roy the DON: Gw akan mluangkan waktu untuk ngobrol ama mreka..
Roy the DON: Mencari pendapat..
Roy the DON: Mencari solusi..
Roy the DON: Mencari bantuan..
Roy the DON: Mknya bwt gw..
Roy the DON: Kegiatan2 gw sgt menyenangkan..
Roy the DON: Coz gw bisa terus dkt ma temen2 gw..
Marissa Danastri: i wish i could
Roy the DON: You could..
Roy the DON: Coz everybody could..
Roy the DON: I don't believe that NOBODY'S PERFECT..
Roy the DON: EVERYBODY'S PERFECT..
Roy the DON: Coz you're also perfect..
Roy the DON: Then you can do it also..
Marissa Danastri: huuuuw.
Marissa Danastri: gw jadi mau nangis, roy.
Roy the DON: Gw gak prnh ngecegah orang buat nangis..
Marissa Danastri: seminggu ini entah kenapa gw ngerasa capek banget.
Roy the DON: Klo mo nangis..
Roy the DON: Nangis aja..
Marissa Danastri: ngerasa jauuuuuuuuuuh sama orang2 yang seBENERnya deket.
Roy the DON: Tp jgn prnh nangis lg buat suatu alasan yg sama nantinya..
Marissa Danastri: orang2 yang seHARUSnya deket.
Marissa Danastri: orang yang BIASAnya deket.
Roy the DON: Itulah yg gw sbut..
Marissa Danastri: huffh.
Roy the DON: SEEN BUT UNSEEN..
Marissa Danastri: semoga.
Roy the DON: di blog gw..
Marissa Danastri: I'll read it.
Roy the DON: Lw sharusnya bisa cha..
Roy the DON: Bisa ngelyat klo tmen2 lw ada di dkt..
Roy the DON: Di dkt lw..
Roy the DON: Mreka syap ngebatu lw..
Roy the DON: Tp lw gak ngelyat mreka..
Roy the DON: sahabat itu adalah..
Roy the DON: sesuatu yang terlihat tp tak terlihat..
Roy the DON: Harusnya lw sadar..
Roy the DON: Klo lw uda ngelyat itu..
Roy the DON: Lw gak akan pernah ngerasa jauh lg ma mreka..
Roy the DON: Krn mreka ada di skeliling lw..
Roy the DON: Kapan pun..
Marissa Danastri: di mana pun?
Roy the DON: Di mana pun..
Roy the DON: Shbt slalu ada di samping lw..
Roy the DON: Walopun mreka lg gak di samping lw..
Roy the DON: Sejauh apapun mreka..
Roy the DON: Lw bakal ngerasa deket..
Roy the DON: That's what friends are for..
Roy the DON: To lighten your life..
Marissa Danastri: huuuuw.
Roy the DON: Even when they're far away..
Marissa Danastri: huuuw.
Roy the DON: Gw cao dulu yaa..
Marissa Danastri: oke.
Roy the DON: Kaka gw mo make komp nehh..
Marissa Danastri: makasiiih ya roy.
Roy the DON: Smangat cuy..
Marissa Danastri: I will
Roy the DON: Dah..
Marissa Danastri: Dah, my chubby bear..

(11/9/2007 9:22 PM)

t.r.u.e. [2]

2007-11-06T19:14:00.000+07:00

November 2^nd, 2007.

People,

When you think that what you have done for someone you love for most is already right and enough; the fact is it never does. Somehow, you are two different human beings with different head, different minds, different sight, different thoughts, and other differences you may almost forget. Moreover, conflict occurs when difference appears. Whatever it takes to mess up what is already there, you had better grant yourself an ocean of apology and forgiveness. No matter who is wrong and no matter who is right. None of you is both or either one of them. Because, actually deep down inside, both of you are hurting yourselves by gravitating in a different direction while your hearts don't.

What you have to consider is that the true things always come at the end; so do regrets.

may the force be with you,

[IchaTenarAbis]

t.r.u.e

2007-11-02T12:21:00.001+07:00

Tuesday, November 2nd 2007.

People,

A lucky is what I am...

I have them on my days,

and in my life.

I love them so much :)

Today,

I become more and more realize,

which one is true and which one isn't.

The question is:

It is a contrary to each other,

then why do I realize it just now?

Phew...

I've just gone to SA Grafika with Radhi, Ulay, and Widii.

I've just realize that it has been a long time since I listened about their stories.

Huuuw...

Though, almost never in my recent history [?] I tell them mine.

Btw.

We talked about setting our picture in a billboard at Sudirman or Thamrin.

Hahahahahaha.

What an imagination!

*I can't imagine what kind of vandalism the-no-meaning-billboard will receive later*

may the force be with them, all..

always.

[IchaTenarGila]

Ensure=Unsure.

2007-10-05T18:45:00.000+07:00

October 5th, 2007.
My room [03:00],

People,
Lately, I’ve been wondering many things I done since then. Is this what I want? Is this what I’ve been fighting for? And is this what I’ve been praying for?
I hope so.
I’ve just talked with my best friend about something that—unintendedly—seems happen to everyone. How could people do many things that are out of their mind just to have what they want? And it all comes down to a word named possession. Possession [n]; Possessive [adj] is a part of human feeling, which cannot be denied—it is. Possessive is a tendency of being stick with something you own; it is an implementation of belonging sense of yours.
However, based on my conversation with my best friend, I conclude that possessive is an ambivalent feeling. When you own something, possession is a margin of act. If you do it for anticipating any threats, disturbance, or harm which could cause you losing your ownership. In other words, possessive is allowed for sustaining integrity. But sometimes, possessive come out from an extreme-illogical mind that finally creates suspicion in something that is—actually—already certain *Hmm..Miris*. And your possession becomes a reason for yourself to ensure your integrity.
When you feel unsure about your own integrity; then how can you sustain it? What is worse is you turn into something that you’re not just to do it. If you have been so; I suggest—no, no, I demand—you to ask you to wake up. It is useless if you are doubting something which is certain, why should you?! Your suspicion will only make yourself tired; and exhausted at the end. And when you’re too busy to ensure yourself, then you forget to sustain it; then simply you’ll lose it. And it’s been already beyond your control because you don’t have any faith in yourself in owning it; why should it’s owned by you for any longer then?
I wish that I’m not being something that I am not just to ensure myself that I possess what is already mine.

Duniaaa.
Icha just has a ‘renaissance’ of her recent-dead-end days after her significant secret-conversation with her best friend. Now, she believes that she will find a brighter day.
She does wish you all get your own renaissance too so you’ll find a brighter day.
Find them with her, Duniaaa…

May the force be with you.
[IchaUniquelyFascinating]

Jealousy

2007-10-01T21:33:00.000+07:00

September, twentysomething^th 2007.

My room [21:24 esia time],

People.

I’ve just got home from accompanying Bhas to find some stuffs for his friend’s birthday. He seems so excited in celebrating this special occasion. However, I really knew, he was very sad at that time—maybe more than I could imagine—but he was so wise that he didn’t want me to feel that guilt. Even if he didn’t want me to do so, I still have felt it.

I have no idea what is wrong with them exactly, but I know that ‘dysfunction’ has been occurred beyond my control and even theirs. And now, what’s left is only this guilty sensation. Yeah, I deserve it. It’s me who create a bridge between two dysfunctioned cliffs. What I did wrong was I never realized that a temporary emotion is necessary but it is not sufficient for that bridge. Maybe it could hang on but it could not survive; and in time it would be ruined as it had been before.

Jealousy.

Word which I never could comprehend in my life. Why does God create this kind of confusing sensation? At first, I thought it was only another form of lack-of-confidence. Why do we have so worried about other people taking away what we own? If we were confident and sure that we really deserve it, what else is important? Throw away that sensation and be a confident person in owning what you deserve and what you have now. Until recently, I’ve realized that it is also another form of love. And I, unfortunately, must admit that common people’s thought. When you love someone/ something, there will appear a sense of belonging deep down your heart. And it feels that you possess it it by yourself. And I think it’s so human if you feel worried when you feel that your possession is threatened by someone/something that capable to do it.

[to be continued..]

G.I.L.A

2007-09-20T17:35:00.000+07:00

September 19^th, 2007

My room, [07:32]

Duniaa.

Kenaaaaaaaaaapa yaaaaaaa?

Kadang gw itu suka nggak habis pikir aja sama jalan pikiran orang yang suka seenaknya sendiri *kayak elo nggak kayak gitu aja, Cha*. Adaaa gitu orang yang bisa-bisanya nggak mikirin perasaan n kepentingan orang lain *nggak dapet aja gw konsepnya, Bir!*. Yaa, katakanlah gw juga kayak gitu, tapi bisa dibilang gw masih memenuhi SOP lah *duh, eneg gila denger istilah itu*. Sebenernya sih tujuan dari posting-an kali ini adalah memuntahkan semua yang akhir-akhir ini memenuhi hati dan pikiran seorang Marissa Danastri. Cuma kalo dipikir-pikir, bakalan kayak gimana nanti kalo sampe ada pihak-pihak yang merasa dirugikan oleh karena muntahan gw ini *sumpah, Cha, jijik abis! Nggak boong dah*. Gimana kalo ada pihak-pihak yang tingkat sensitivitasnya di atas rata-rata, jadi kalo ada sindir-sindir atau kata-kata yang salah langsung deh tersinggung, ngambek, marah, atau jadi moody?I ICHAaaapeee deeeeh!

Gw emang selalu bilang berulang kali, I don’t have to be objective on my own blog. Tapi, yaa kalo udah menyangkut kemaslahatan umat dan akidah, udah deh itu nggak bisa diganggu-gugat. *Halah..Ngemeng aja lo, Cha.*

*terlalu lama ngelantur dan menimbang-nimbang*

Jadi gini ceritanya, udah hampir dua minggu ini gw ngerasain sebuah sensasi yang judulnya: sebentar-lagi-beneran-gila. Mau tau nggak kayak gimana rasanya? Rasanya tuh semakin hari sepertinya Grogol merupakan tempat yang more preferable for me dibandingkan sebuah entitas pendidikan yang wajib gw datangi hampir tiap hari—kampus. Mulai dari kepanitiaan, organisasi, kuliah, komunitas, habitat, dll bikin tingkat kegilaan gw jadi sangat fluktuatif akhir-akhir ini.

Pikir ajaa yaa… Belom lama ini gw resigned dari sebuah organisasi yang ternyata nggak pernah ada ngerasain sensasi anggota resigned. Alasan sih pasti selalu aja ada, apalagi kalo dicari-cari, tapi yasuuuwlah it is time for me to accept its concequences. I who decided to join, I who decided not to get involve insides, and now I who should end it beautifully *L deh, Chaaaa. Emang lagunya peterpan?!*.

Kegilaan gw dilanjutkan dengan sebuah bidding sebuah kepanitiaan bergengsi yang berlangsung hampir lebih dari 15 jam *itu belom diakumulasi dengan waktu ngaret oknum2 yang berasa penting*. Bidding tersebut udah menyita malam minggu 28 anak malang yang musti terdampar di luntang-lantung di depan ruang bidding. You know what, tuh kepanitiaan udah dari 3-4 bulan yang lalu dipersiapin oleh tim gw. I, dengan membuang segala subjektivitas karena bagian dari tim tersebut, do admit and confess that our team has produced a controvertible-indisputable amazing and magnificent concept. Teknisnya juga udah dipikirin se-detail mungkin, it has really had. Sayangnya, Tuhan belom mengizinkan; semua kerja keras kami selama empat bulan itu berakhir dengan cukup p*hit dan penuh dengan question mark yang muncul dari benak gw secara pribadi. Sebenernya sih yaa, berhubung ini bulan Ramadhan, gw bener-bener pengeeeen banget menjauhkan diri dari sensasi-yang-gw-rasain-waktu-baca-hasil-penilaian-bidder *bisa nebak sendiri kan apa nama sensasi itu*. Pengennya siih bisa jadi orang yang positive thinking, tepo sliro, dan lapang dalam menerima kekalahan/kegagalan. Cuma yaa gimaaanaaa yaa, khusus menyangkut hal ini buat gw pribadi, adalah wajar kalo gw ngerasain tuh sensasi karena hal ini sendiri yang sangat amat mengundang sensasi-yang-gw-rasain-waktu-baca-penilaian-bidder. Huuufh. Untuk seketika, gw ngerasa jadi korban dari sebuah bobroknya sistem yang diciptakan oleh sesama manusia tapi dengan tingkat moral eror yang sudah sangat memprihatinkan *jaeelaaah*. Kalo katanya Dosen StatEk gw, sampel dari sebuah populasi itu harus memenuhi salah satu ciri yang disebut representatif. Ketika sebuah sampel tidak bisa mewakili/ merepresentasikan populasinya, maka sampel tersebut nggak nggak layak dijadikan objek penelitian. Sama aja kayak manusia-manusia yang udah dianggap sebagai representative oleh populasinya; ketika mereka nggak bisa merepresentasikan/ mewakili populasinya—atau malah cuma bisa mewakili sebuah atau beberapa komunitas dalam populasi tersebut, maka kredibilitas manusia (sampel) tersebut patut diragukan. Yaa, makanya ketika kita ini udah terpilih jadi manusia yang keberadaannya atau posisinya dianggap representatif, mbok yaa jangan hanya mewakili kepentingan komunitas-komunitas tertentu aja.Ckckck, dosa loh! Yaudah juga sih, gw nggak pernah percaya sama yang namanya KARMA; karena gw percaya kalau Tuhan itu Mahaadil. Nggak ada yang bisa bener-bener adil selain Dia. Hmmm. Mungkin p*hit kali ini pun karena emang Dia udah mempersiapkan manis di waktu yang lebih tepat. I do believe it. Hohohohohoho. *gitu maennya...bawa-bawa Tuhan..*

Hal lain yang bikin gw makin gila adalah terjadinya sebuah sensasi yang sejujurnya udah sangat biasa dan udah sangat familiar bagi gw, tapi tetep aja gw belom juga adaptif terhadap sensasi tersebut. Sampe-sampe gw heran dan bertanya-tanya sama diri sendiri,’Kenaaaaaapa gitu? Kenaaaapa?’. Sigh. Mungkin emang kadar gila dalam diri gw bener-bener udah mendominasi rasio gw *jaeelaaaah, Cha*. Kalo boleh jujur sih, sensasi ini bener-bener menyiksa psikis gw. Masalahnya, subjek yang menyebabkan sensasi ini bener-bener subjek yang sifatnya sangat dominan dalam menentukan mood gw. Subjek jenis ini menempati peringkat pertama dalam prioritas gw, jadi udah jelas kenapa sensasi yang disebabkan olehnya mampu bikin gw makin gila. Sensasi ini nggak jauh beda lah dari apa yang udah gw sebut-sebut di pembukaan postingan ini. One-who-thinks-everything-based-on-her/his-sight-only. One-who-feels-everybody-is-going-along-with-her/his-willingness. I guess I’m done. And I think it’s time for me to say: I’m not always what you want. I’m not always what you need.And I’m not always what you see. Please, wake up, dear. The world will not always follow you. The world will not always go along with you. Kalo kata Joblai 1 sih, “Br*ngsek abiiis emang, Cha. Cuma sabar-sabarin aja!”. Sedang Joblai 2 bilang, “Udaah, anggep aja kunt*lanak dari mana gitu, atau anggep aja nggak ada!” Yeah, gitu aja kali yaa..

Kegilaan gw kembali dilanjutkan, kali ini oleh sebuah akhir yang ‘nggantung’ dari curahan hati beberapa oknum kepada gw. Curahan hati di sini sukan berarti oknum-oknum tersebut curhat ke gw, tapi curahan hati yang isinya itu tentang gw *penting abis sih lo, Cha!*. Inti dari curahan hati oknum-oknum tersebut adalah hilangnya kredibilitas gw di depan mereka. Whew, what a confession. Yaa, mereka men-judge gw nggak bisa memenuhi ekspektasi mereka seperti yang sudah seharusnya gw lakukan. Gw seringkali menomor duakan jobdesc gw sampe-sampe harus mereka yang mengerjakan *hooo, kasiaaaan, maap banget yaa*. Oknum-oknum tersebut tuh udah kesel banget sama gw, sampe yang udah males gitu deh mau ngomong sama gw *L!!!!*. Sayangnya, semua curahan hati itu sifatnya sangatlah subjektif *Cha, emang ada curahan hati yang objektif?!*. Nggak semuanya bener, bahkan ada yang kesannya terlalu berlebihan untuk diucapkan oleh oknum-oknum yang merupakan representatif dari sebuah organisasi yang udah dianggap credible lah dalam masalah profesionalisme kerja. Dan kembali saudara-saudara, berdasarkan curahan hati oknum-oknum tersebut, gw jadi meragukan kredibilitas organisasi itu. It’s out of personal things, here. Beneran deh. Yaaah, gw berharap sih kalopun oknum-oknum tersebut masih ada yang ngganjel di hati, silakan aja ngomong. Dan kalopun emang jadi males ngomong atau berinteraksi sama gw, yaa sebatas professional aja, jangan sampe kebawa personal lah. Apalagi, bulan Ramadhan gitu.

May the professionalism and maturity be with them.
Amiin.

[ChaBrilliantlyFascinatingAndProfessional]
Hehehehe.

She's Back

2007-09-20T17:27:00.001+07:00

September 19th, 2007.
My room, [19:55]

People.
It’s been a long long time since IchaTenarSekali greeted you with her amazing writing.
She knows, absolutely knows, you all have been missing her very much.
She knew it, more than you all ever realized.
She felt it, more than you all ever imagined.
And she heard it—your voices that always call her name all the time, more than you all ever thought.
Right now, you all have her standing ovation. She does appreciate all of your attention and affection, people. Relax, she’s back. And she’ll never leave you all—you should’ve known that she won’t.
She cannot bear to lose you all, people.

People, Icha is coming back.
So, welcome her, Duniaa…

Btw.
Ramadhan is coming.
Icha wants you all to have her appoligy—purely from her deepest heart.
And she does forgive every mistakes done by anyone of you.
You all are always on her forgiveness. ;)

May the force be with you, people.
[ChaTenarSekaliLohUdah GituPemaafLagiKaloNggakPercayaRugiSendiriDeh!]

I am leaving!!!

2007-08-20T15:28:00.000+07:00

People,

I’m going to Singapore tomorrow. Wish me luck everybody.

I AM GONNA MISS YOU ALL, PEOPLE!!!

I’M GONNA MISS YOU DUNIA!!!

Phew. I haven’t packed anything. I haven’t got my dollars. Lot of things to do and I still have to go to Campus.

What a business.

*Yawn*

So sleepy. I received many birthday calls from 12.01 to 4.23!

OMG.

I don’t know that these people love me that much.

Whew. Thanks, People.

You all have your own place in my heart.You always have.

Actually, I only wish your PRAYER and your forgiveness.

That’s all I’m really shoothing for ;)

Hahahaha.

Icha is 19 now—what an age!—and she wants you all to:

Celebrate this birthday with her, Duniaaaa...

[ChaUniquelyFascinating]

An Angel Arrival

2007-08-20T15:07:00.000+07:00

August 19th, 2007. [My Ustad Ganteng’s Birthday]

Dunia.

Hari ini sahabat gw yang selalu gw nanti-nantikan dateng ke rumah.

ADHI dateng ke rumah. Senaaaaangnyaaaa.

‘Ahmad Mikail’ akan menjadi MaBa IE 2007!!! 070258

Dia bakal satu universitas sama gw. Satu kampus sama gw. Satu jurusan sama gw. Dan yang pasti, dia akan sering ada di sekitar gw.

Alhamdulillah...

Setelah sekian lama gw gamang menantikan kedatangannya [halah..] akhirnya dia dateng juga. Ya Allah, Engkau memang mahaadil.

Nggak tau bakal se-wonderful apa hidup gw di kampus nanti dengan kehadiran Adhi.

Malaikat Mikail gw ;)

Orang yang bener-bener ngerti gw. Orang yang selalu menjawab pertanyaan-pertanyaan gw. Orang yang selalu ngingetin gw sama tahajud n puasa senen-kamis. Orang yang selalu gw bilang “He’s the boy all the girls want”. Orang yang bisa bikin gw ngerasain rasanya punya KAKAK untuk pertama kali. Orang yang selalu menjunjung tinggi idealisme. Orang yang selalu bisa nyemangatin gw. Orang yang menghibur gw dengan nyanyiannya kalo gw lagi sendu. Orang yang SELALU MENDENGARKAN keluh kesah maupun cerita-cerita nggak penting gw.

Adhiiiiiiii, your coming is one of the greatest birthday presents that I’ve got from God.

Makasiiiih Ya Allah.

Makasiiiiih.

Sungguh tiada Tuhan selain Engkau.

May the force be with him.

[ChaMerelyBeInGratitude]

A sudden-strange-atmosphere

2007-08-20T14:28:00.000+07:00

August 18th, 2007.

My room [03:14],

Yesterday was the best INDEPENDENCE DAY I’ve ever been.

I spent it with he-whose-name-I-can-not-mention-here ;p

I’ve had a one-hour-memorable-midnight-confessions.

Phew. Feel so relief. Feel so happy. Feel so embarrassed. All at once. Huuw.

*Norak giillaa lo, Cha. Norak abiiis daah*

I’ve got a long-significant conversation with my Dad, a conversation which I’ve been missing all these times.

And the last, Hepi was on her way to go home. Finally she’s home.

Mmmh,

If someday I’ll have to forget everything which has ever been to me.

I wish I’ll never forget that day—ever.

Amiiiiiin.

*ThanksGodForAllOfThisSuddenThingsWhichAreHappeningToMe*

May the force always be with you and him and her and...him.;)

[ChaIsReallyReallyAndMerelyAdorable]

Cast Away

2007-08-20T14:24:00.000+07:00

August 16th, 2007.

Sejak kemaren Hp terdampar di sebuah pulau yang jauh dari peradaban. Dia hanya bisa mengandalkan handphone untuk menjamah temannya, Ch, yang ada di pulau lain. Ch sangat kawatir akan keadaan Hp karena dia baru sadar begitu liat miskol n sms dari Hp yang merujuk pada kata: TOLONG.HELP.MAYDAY.SOS.etc.

*Berikut kutipan percakapan via sms n handphone antara Ch dan Hp*

SMS

Hp : NAJIS, gw udh di IC nih. Kamar jelek, spooky. Org2 pd ngomongin hal2 berat. Mendadak sinting gw...

Hp : Ch...Help me please...

PHONE

[karena panik, Ch pun menelpon Hp]

Hp : Ch... [nada merengek]

Ch : Yak.

Hp : Huuuuuw. [tambah merengek]

Ch : Nomor esia siapa yg bisa gw telpon? He-Who-Is-Suck deh sini, berapa no nya?

Hp : Nggak bisaaaaa. Katanya esia nggak bisa di pulau ini.

Ch : Yah ampuuun.

Hp : Chhhhh....Gw boseeen.

Ch : Kenapa? Kenapa? Cerita coba... Nginepnya di PH ya Hp? Gimana?

Hp : JELEK. KOTOR. GELAP. BAU. 1 kamar isinya dua org.

Ch : Lw sekamar sm sapa?

Hp : Ada deh tuh dr Aceh, aneeeeeeeh Ch... Gw sereeem malahan.

Ch : Yeee. Daripada sendiri. Try to get along with her. [Sok bijak]

Hp : Aneh deh sumpah!

Ch : Yah, lo kan ngga bisa berharap semua org yg lo temui itu ‘fascinating’ kaya gw, Hp.

Hp : T*I lo, nyong.. Huuuw..

Ch : Emang tmpat co n ce jauh? Ngga bisa nyamperin ‘ank2’?

Hp : Bisa siih. Cuma gw ngga ngerti mau ngomong apa.

Ch : Terus2.. Si He-Who-Is-Suck gimana aksinya? Lagaknya abis2an?

Hp : Najis deh gw. BACOT abis tau nggak. Ih, amiiit.-–eh2, Ch..Smsan aja, ya—

Ch : Ok.

--22:40—

SMS

Hp : Ch. He-Who-Is-Suck ad di sebelah gw, dy bacot bgt,blagu dan sering bgt ngeremehin gw terang-terangan,siall..Seandainya gw bisa nabok dy.

Ch : [emosi] T*I, sembarangan aja tu bocah. Minta ditabok abiis. Udh kuaaat dia. Brani2nya ngeremehin jojoblai. Perlu gw sewa sniper apa Hp? Qt matiin aja langsung di tempat!

Hp : A*jing bgt emang nih org.Dy tdr ama He-Whose-Voice-Is-So-Damn-Sexy, ati2 nnt salah sasaran trus si Znt jd janda.Hahaha.Sew Bourne aja Cha, tmbak 7x di jidat langsung, biar dipastikan tewas di tempat.

Ch : Ok. Tembak 7x di jidat. WTH? Gw hrs sewa Jason Bourne utk matiin dy? L!!!! Ketik HAPPY spasi AMAT, HAPPY AMAAAT dia diabisin org ganteng. Ngga Level.Org kaya dy mah cukup kerahkan PAK KASIMUN [supir jet Bire yg ada affair sama gw]. Bereslah pasti, he’s a PRO. Tny sm He-Who-Is-Suck ada wasiat atau pesan2 terakahir ngga?

Hp : Oh Pak Kasimun jg terlatih buat eksekusi org, boleh lah.. Ga usah pk wasiat, gw rasa smua org pgn dy mati,hahaha. I hate him, T*I.Untung ada He-Whose-Voice-Is-So-Damn-Sexy, kalo ngga, gw tembak sendiri tuh org!

Ch : Yeah. Sabar beb, jgn gegabah. Jangan sampe He-Whose-Voice-Is-So-Damn-Sexy mencium pergerakan kita. Nanti begitu mayatnya ditemuin, kita jd tersangka utama lagi. Udah lo calm down aja. Stay cool kaya KH*LMU.

--percakapan sempat terpending lama—

Hp : Ch..Don’t leave me. Telpon gw, please.Semua co masih pd ngobrol tp gw udh ngantuk. Di kamar gw takut, gimana niiiih???

[Icha mencoba menelpon, tapi she’s unreachable—icha pun desperate untung ada yg menenangkan;)]

Predicament I am in

2007-08-15T16:03:00.000+07:00

August 15th, 2007.

No.
Not here this time...
Follow it...

http://piggingblindly.blogspot.com/

[ChaTenarAbis]

We're About to Leave.

2007-08-14T16:03:00.000+07:00

August 14th, 2007.

Phew.
Happy and I have bought the tickets to our dreamday holiday.
We're going to leave on August 21st and come home on August 25th.
Still can't believe it.
It seems it was just only yesterday, Happy and I googled about vacation to Singapore.
Huufh..
Finally, soulmate.
We've made it!!!

[ChaCykHappyAndIsStillBrilliantlyFascinating]

Another Wreckage

2007-08-13T17:30:00.002+07:00

August 12th, 2007.

My room, [I dunno what time is it]

People.

I am overwhelming now ;) I really am.

After that blurry moment, that hurtful predicament, that unfair thought, and that useless

tears; I used to face.

God finally put a ‘true’ smile upon my face ;)

I hope there won’t be any disturbance in this sudden pleasure.

Please.

Let me know it further before everyone notices.

Let me hold it tight before it escapes wildly.

Let me see it clearly before it vanishes from my sight.

Let me feel it deeply before it builds its reluctant on me.

And let me comprehend it comprehensively before it disappears soon enough.

Even if it’s only a while, even it’s only makebelieving, even it’s only a maybe;

I really don’t mind.

And for the people who dislike this situation, who disagree with this condition, and who have intentions to end it.

I am begging you all. I am pleading now. And I am bended on my knees.

Please, don’t finish it because when the time has come it will end itself.

Don’t worry, I have only a few more time left.

*ChaHasBeenPulledOutFromAWreckageAndFallingToTheOtherOne*

[ChaMerelyMezmerizingAndFascinating]

What a 'finally'..

2007-08-10T18:10:00.000+07:00

August 10th, 2007.

People..
Finally, I did it. I've already been submitted to the next semester thorugh the online registration. After all those timing issues, after this long-waiting.
After that stupid-discussion-for-next-semester's-lecturers with the gank.
After those hearing-recommendations.
And after all these times.
Finally, finally, Duniaaaa....

Phew, I can sleep well now. No need to be afraid of tendency of being late to submit it.
Hahaha.
I've done my internal training with BPI'ers today, and it was fun.
We spent about two hours in Kanopi to take a rest before going home. And I spent about one hour reading Buku Curhat Kanopi 05/06. Hahahaha.
Today was completely insane. It was. ;p

And now...
Icha can--finally--say: Mari berlibur, duniaaaaaaaaaa...

May the force be with you.
[ChaIsSoAdorableThatNoOneCanDoubtIt]

NB:
Thanks to Ms. Heidy Ruswita, for being my first-partner of REGOL [Nggak sia-sia kita update kabar sejak Selasa kemaren. Gilaaa abis, Hei! Qta mungkin mahasiswi ter-update tadi. Siap-siap buat semester depan! Hahaha.]
Thanks to Mr.Gaffari Ramadhan, for those recommendations, advices, etc. [Nasib setengah anak IE 06 emang di tangan gw semester nanti, tapi mereka tau kok kalo sumbernya adalah engkau ;p]
Thanks to Mr. Firsandy, for having told me before about that adorable lecturer! [Untung dulu sempet ngobrol ttg dosen-yang-bikin-lo-ngerasa-IE-abiiis, akhirnya gw penasaran n memilih dia. Hhhh, gw harus menyiapkan diri gw bertemu muka dengan beliau, doakan kami!]
Thanks to LabKom FE, for that speed! Fantastic, cuy!
Thanks to BPI'ers 07/08, for this wonderful day. [Ayo cepat selesaiin Warta,, semangat Dea!]