comprehension

It's been so long that I've been missing every silly word to say in here. One big update maybe I can tell that I am officially Marissa Danastri, SE. Not a thrill, huh? At least, the journey was. *wait, why am i saying? at least?* It was awesome. And I miss it. I miss school. I want to spend my time studying again. To be honest, I still thirst of many things I haven't enrich myself with. Pathetically, I just realize it now. Yes, in the middle of struggling in the real world: seeking for good job, having opinion about something that might change many of others', doing productive thing, earning money, and even writing my own blog. Yes, I still feel really far away from what I should've become and achieved right now. I am screwed.

I watched many of TV series lately, due to my obsession of avoiding horrible Indonesia's tv shows (red: an indosiar full of Choki Sitohang, exaggerated reality show, sinetron which full of delusion of grandeur, etc). My favorite is House M.D. I love Hugh Laurie so much. Yes, I have an achilles heels for British guys. How come Laurie can describe a sexy genius doctor perfectly? How come his bastard personality become very lovable at the same time? And how does this TV series hasn't lost any mysterious case in all of their episodes? Magnificent. I often thought that somehow being a bastard is really who we really are. As long as we are needed by others, we will still can be a star, like Greg House. Due to my teenage hormonal response, I have Glee and Gossip Girl. I like Glee because basically I love music very much. "I love you till I die.." that's what Freddie Mercury sang in Save Me and it is the line that I am gonna say to Music. A girl named Rachel Berry put me on my edge a little, at first I don't like her very much. She is so annoying and incredibly overacting in every aspect of her life. However, the more I watch Glee, the more I love her. How come? That's because I am a crazy girl who admit there's something in her which really resembles to me. I know it sounds crazy but I do realize that I am a super duper narcissistic drama queen. I hate myself admitting that as much as I love myself for proud of saying my admission *there me goes again, oh Lord*. However, doing everything she can to achieve her goals is also what makes me love her. She may be annoying but all the things she does will not make herself regret in the later time. And I really want myself to feel and do the same, doing my best in every aspect, especially the one I love. I watch Gossip Girl because for me it looks like a fairy tale. I am a realist but who doesn't love and doesn't want fairy tale? Hypocrite. I admit that I am a bit envy. How do those fellas have only few things that worry them just because they have eliminate the big one, yes, money. I, for many times in my dreams, imagine myself to be at ease with money. I often ask myself, when can I withdraw ten million rupiahs just like I do with one thousand rupiahs in the mean time? Hahahaha. Crazy, I know. Have I said I am a realist? Oh yes, I have. The last one, I have Dexter. Hahahaha. I don't have any confession that I am a psychopath or serial killer of course. All I know is what Dexter has been through is horror, he is horror! But he still has many things to be proud of, intelligence, craving for bad guys, lovable person for a sister and a father, etc.

Actually, I really don't know what am I trying to say. I am not sure if I said any of good things here but I think a comprehension of ourselves is really important. To know whether we have done right or wrong, good or bad, best or only better, great or ordinary, is really important. Whenever we have a dream, we achieve it alone. When I said alone, I mean by what we've done. We are the one who dream, who live with it, who struggle for it, and who get it. We can be House, or Rachel, or Chuck Bass. They all are mean, annoying, jerk. However, I know that they struggle for what they are, and they are already stars.

Chaa.