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Monday, October 30, 2006

Hypochondria part. II

,,Hypochondria part. II,,

Ever since I got home from Bdg, I’ve been lying on my bed, thinking about the predicament I’m in. The worst part about it, I realized, is that I’ve kept it all to myself. I stayed up most of the night, thinking everything through, I came to the sorry conclusion that I’m not ready to tell the truth to her or even him (of course!!!). They both mean too much for me.

I’m so sad when I think about the consequences of fessing up that I can’t follow through. While I hate myself for my flagrant dishonesty and feel pathetic about all the things I’ve done, at least this way I get to keep two persons I care about. No one has a clue what I’ve been going through. If I don’t fess up to somebody, I think I could implode. I’d rather live with myself as a loner who’s honest than with the person I’ve become.

Have you ever this wish of being somewhere else to let go all your disguise all your worries too?


May the force be with me…


,,IchaCykDy,,

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