Why does nobody syndrome things who i used to discuss with my chronic patient, hepi, become so popular in many of my friends. First Roy, and then joining the hospitalized boat, here he comes, Aldi.
Well, the answer is simple: everybody experiences nobody syndrome.
To me, as the one who always cynical about that kind of that symptom, it happened.
August, 2006 (3 years ago) I wrote:
I wish I could have a kind of confidence about my self as everybody does. I do know that I’m joyful, or at least I always thankful for what I have. But I’ve always felt a little awkward about the way people perceive me. I often feel uncomfortable with myself, I don’t know whether it’s common for everyone or it isn’t. And I don’t have any courage in socializing further with people, though I love making friends, but sometimes there’s a part of me forbidding myself to be open even with my closest friends. There's a kinda fear that I cannot tell anybody what is the main reason. I know that it is wrong, I definitely know it. A loner side of mine is thought as picky or maybe cocky. Many persons think that I am a person with a thought that everyone else around me was inferior to me, that they won’t get the classy private things I’m gonna say to them, even if I let them do, I will make jokes about their stupid advise endlessly; which in fact that are truly, madly, deeply untrue. It’s only because I can’t, and period. What makes me wonder is the fact that this thing is happen not only in school but also in my house.
I have an ordinary relationship with my family, and my big fam. It means that’s not a really good relation and that isn’t a really bad relation too. I often wonder why are my sisters have always tried to follow in my footsteps. I don’t think I’m that good to be their role model, though I’ve never been annoyed that copycats ;p but my mom and dad thought it was my compulsory as the oldest. Every time my sisters and I have a conversation, they always put me on a pedestal which I know that ‘s because I’m their big sister. I wish I was that great, but I know I’m not. The truth is I don’t think I’ve ever been the best person I can be. And when it comes down to it, that’s all I’m really shooting for. In my sisters’ eyes, I can do no wrong and sometimes I wish other people saw me the way my sisters do. I even wish I admired myself as mush as they do. Even so, I still think that they have to stop doing that, I want them find out who they really are or what kind of thing that they really want. Moreover, I guess starting from my second year in high school; no parents would ever hope that their adorable and spunky daughters would have a role model as messed up as I was.
It had started innocently enough. I almost could not pursue to my third grade because my absence isn’t enough on few majors. I also often ran away from school just to watch movies, hang out with my peers, or even avoid some majors that I dislike.
Once, I took my 13 girls to escape with an unimaginable way—throwing their bags from second-floor balcony while I waited outside to catch them, then they would go out from school without making our school guard and teachers doubted them. Fortunately, one of the bag was stuck on the school back wall and made all of us panic. My two friends and I had tried to reach and pull it but it didn’t work. Alec, my friend that coincidentally was smoking nearby helped us. He climbed the wall and tried to get the bag, but still, it didn’t work. Striving to get the bag, our noisy voice made one of my ‘killer’ teacher try to find out where was the noise from. And from the second-floor window, he caught us. At the time, Alec could get the bag (thank God!). Suddenly I heard a noise voice—cabal of girl screaming—and I knew that it was my friends trying to runaway from the killer teacher. He chased us! And you know what? We ran away and hided in a small street. Unfortunately, we still had ‘wise heart’ so we came back to school and surrendered. All of the student in my school welcomed us with applause, cheer, and laughter. I felt like one of miss universe candidate that time though the teachers gave an evil stare. Well, ca ne me fait rien!
I don’t know if it was my teenage hormone or what, but I know that hormones really do make us do crazy things. I don’t want to talk about what kind of sanctie the school had given, because the kind of feeling that I felt that time was proud. I didn’t have any regret or fear in my big stubborn head or in my mean heart facing the advisors and teachers. I felt that I was innocent; I left the school because I had no more lessons to study. Why did they want us to stay in school while no more ‘useful’ things that we could do in there. Was that a school or a prison? The truth was it did seem sort of boring to always have the same activity everyday. I need something different to colorize my life. Maybe my rebellious soul was on fire that day. So in a moment of true courageousness I did that remembered incident. (My dad laughed a lot when he heard my story, even though he clearly unhappy, but he didn’t officially shout a lot at me. Thankfully he had the same thought as I had that it wasn’t necessary telling my mom about this.)
Day by day, I became more and busier with my exams and courses. From that time I saw how my parents gave up everything they’ve got only for my successfulness. How they pray for me with all their hearts. Me? I only seemed more and more interested in being in the fringe. To be honest, I began to feel like I was getting into something that was not quite right for me. Suddenly I feel a pang of nostalgia mixed with guilt.
In spite of all the things that have happened, my mom’s the best mom in the world. I begin to realize that her thought is absolutely deserve to be considered. Though I know she is kind of person who is very straightforward. She only has such a strong objection to anything that doesn’t much with her thought, that’s all, and I shouldn’t rock da boat, right?
Well, the answer is simple: everybody experiences nobody syndrome.
To me, as the one who always cynical about that kind of that symptom, it happened.
August, 2006 (3 years ago) I wrote:
I wish I could have a kind of confidence about my self as everybody does. I do know that I’m joyful, or at least I always thankful for what I have. But I’ve always felt a little awkward about the way people perceive me. I often feel uncomfortable with myself, I don’t know whether it’s common for everyone or it isn’t. And I don’t have any courage in socializing further with people, though I love making friends, but sometimes there’s a part of me forbidding myself to be open even with my closest friends. There's a kinda fear that I cannot tell anybody what is the main reason. I know that it is wrong, I definitely know it. A loner side of mine is thought as picky or maybe cocky. Many persons think that I am a person with a thought that everyone else around me was inferior to me, that they won’t get the classy private things I’m gonna say to them, even if I let them do, I will make jokes about their stupid advise endlessly; which in fact that are truly, madly, deeply untrue. It’s only because I can’t, and period. What makes me wonder is the fact that this thing is happen not only in school but also in my house.
I have an ordinary relationship with my family, and my big fam. It means that’s not a really good relation and that isn’t a really bad relation too. I often wonder why are my sisters have always tried to follow in my footsteps. I don’t think I’m that good to be their role model, though I’ve never been annoyed that copycats ;p but my mom and dad thought it was my compulsory as the oldest. Every time my sisters and I have a conversation, they always put me on a pedestal which I know that ‘s because I’m their big sister. I wish I was that great, but I know I’m not. The truth is I don’t think I’ve ever been the best person I can be. And when it comes down to it, that’s all I’m really shooting for. In my sisters’ eyes, I can do no wrong and sometimes I wish other people saw me the way my sisters do. I even wish I admired myself as mush as they do. Even so, I still think that they have to stop doing that, I want them find out who they really are or what kind of thing that they really want. Moreover, I guess starting from my second year in high school; no parents would ever hope that their adorable and spunky daughters would have a role model as messed up as I was.
It had started innocently enough. I almost could not pursue to my third grade because my absence isn’t enough on few majors. I also often ran away from school just to watch movies, hang out with my peers, or even avoid some majors that I dislike.
Once, I took my 13 girls to escape with an unimaginable way—throwing their bags from second-floor balcony while I waited outside to catch them, then they would go out from school without making our school guard and teachers doubted them. Fortunately, one of the bag was stuck on the school back wall and made all of us panic. My two friends and I had tried to reach and pull it but it didn’t work. Alec, my friend that coincidentally was smoking nearby helped us. He climbed the wall and tried to get the bag, but still, it didn’t work. Striving to get the bag, our noisy voice made one of my ‘killer’ teacher try to find out where was the noise from. And from the second-floor window, he caught us. At the time, Alec could get the bag (thank God!). Suddenly I heard a noise voice—cabal of girl screaming—and I knew that it was my friends trying to runaway from the killer teacher. He chased us! And you know what? We ran away and hided in a small street. Unfortunately, we still had ‘wise heart’ so we came back to school and surrendered. All of the student in my school welcomed us with applause, cheer, and laughter. I felt like one of miss universe candidate that time though the teachers gave an evil stare. Well, ca ne me fait rien!
I don’t know if it was my teenage hormone or what, but I know that hormones really do make us do crazy things. I don’t want to talk about what kind of sanctie the school had given, because the kind of feeling that I felt that time was proud. I didn’t have any regret or fear in my big stubborn head or in my mean heart facing the advisors and teachers. I felt that I was innocent; I left the school because I had no more lessons to study. Why did they want us to stay in school while no more ‘useful’ things that we could do in there. Was that a school or a prison? The truth was it did seem sort of boring to always have the same activity everyday. I need something different to colorize my life. Maybe my rebellious soul was on fire that day. So in a moment of true courageousness I did that remembered incident. (My dad laughed a lot when he heard my story, even though he clearly unhappy, but he didn’t officially shout a lot at me. Thankfully he had the same thought as I had that it wasn’t necessary telling my mom about this.)
Day by day, I became more and busier with my exams and courses. From that time I saw how my parents gave up everything they’ve got only for my successfulness. How they pray for me with all their hearts. Me? I only seemed more and more interested in being in the fringe. To be honest, I began to feel like I was getting into something that was not quite right for me. Suddenly I feel a pang of nostalgia mixed with guilt.
In spite of all the things that have happened, my mom’s the best mom in the world. I begin to realize that her thought is absolutely deserve to be considered. Though I know she is kind of person who is very straightforward. She only has such a strong objection to anything that doesn’t much with her thought, that’s all, and I shouldn’t rock da boat, right?
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