How to Disappear Completely

July 20, 2007

Having a long conversation via phone with BhasAjaCukup [red: BHAS], I knew, actually, that he doesn’t think he is the right sort of man for me. [Maybe it’s because his now which made him “impossible” in his eyes and he thinks that I’m only gonna get in with “bad blue crowd”—, which I already did]. Anyway, thanks Bro for listening a fool like me. Huuffh, it’s a harder now. Damn...

Now I’m going to be parted from this predicament for the whole weekend! Yeah, baby! It doesn’t matter deep down inside how I plead or sulk to myself, I’ve made up my mind. Yeah, at my age [bah...!] I must be thrilled to see more of the world [halah...it’s just Puncak you fool!], not to be blinded by a HODOB and HIDES feelings. What a depressing thought, L! This trip will be my chance to get things right. Well, it will be funny if the days that are going to change your life start like any other day. Therefore, I’ll begin this day with this WONDERFUL TRIP to a WONDERFUL WORLD [Ichaaaaaapeeee deh...]. Though I am very upset that Widii cannot come with me because her mother has been hospitalized since yesterday [hope she gets well soon, hon...], I know I shouldn’t think that I really didn’t look forward to joining this trip [it’s an obligation, Cha. OK?!]

By the way, should I leave my cell phone also [Cha, be rational! L C M!]. I can put up with all sorts of inconveniences, but my life is centered around the cell phone. If I didn’t spend at least an hour sending text to my friends, I got withdrawal symptoms. Moreover, I had promised to phone my dad as soon as I arrived. It had been a worst two weeks experienced by a human being like me [whoa...], nobody to talk to except myself. I felt terribly sorry for myself and very lonely. How was I going to survive with two weeks like that? I had been in the blackest mood for that.

Now, I never meant to do you wrong. That's what I came here to say. But if I was wrong, then I'm sorry. I don't let it stand in our way. Cause my head just aches when I think of the things that I shouldn't have done. But life is for living, we all know and I dont wanna live it alone. [Coldplay]

Dear: you

I hope you slept well and my screaming heart didn’t keep you awake too much ;]

May the force be with you.

,,Cha,,