D - few Wishes

I don't know why but this year I feel like I'm not in a stage which is still appropriate to have many wishes in a birthday. God has given me almost everything I need (Alhamdulillahi Rabb), everything I want; a job, a chance to pursue my study abroad, a tighter family bond, a piety and kind boyfriend a girl always wish for, a bunch of magnificent best friends and new friends, etc. Needless to say, God also gives me a chance to meet Ramadan this year, somehow He gives me chance to ask His forgiveness and loves.

There are times, indeed, when I really wish for those kind of things. And if I now reflect to those times, I do wish I don't have to go through those anymore. I'm happy with my life right now, I just wish that Allah will take care of my beloved people and always keep them with me, safe and happy. *Oh Lord, the happier they are, the happier I am. Whenever I think of them, I can never say enough gratitude to You.* Considering that it's only a few days to go, let me have one in general:

I do wish I can be a better me to Him and to those whom I love and concern so much.
Amin.

Well, actually, I do really have a special wish. Maybe it's too much but I do wish I will have a chance to have him wish me the best for the first time in 23 years of my life :) I hope this wish is not too much for a birthday daughter. :)
Amin Ya Rabbal Alamiin.


Love,
Marissa

piano lesson part I

I had my first piano lesson with Capt yesterday and it was awesome. It made me realize how genius his left and right brain, and fyi, I couldn't imagine how Freddie Mercury's and Chris Martin's are. I am working on Love of My Life by Queen, the one which Freddie wrote for his ex-girlfriend and his very best friend, Mary Austin, when they broke up. Don't ask me why. I am left by love of my life. He left and did not come back, at least, yet. I hope, he'll come back someday when he listen what I play for him :)

Love of my life, you've hurt me.

You've broken my heart and now you leave me.

Love of my life, can't you see?

Bring it back, bring it back.

Don't take it away from me because you don't know what it means to me.

Love of my life, don't leave me.

You've taken my life, you now desert me.

Love of my life, can't you see?

Bring it back, bring it back.

Don't take it away from me because you don't know what it means to me.

You will remember when this is blown over and everything's all by the way.

When I grow older, I will be there at your side to remind you how I still love you.

I still love you.

Back, hurry back.

Please bring it back home to me because you don't know what it means to me.

Love of my life, Love of my life.

soundtrack #2

as days go by and fade to nights,
i still question why you left.
i wonder how it didn't work out.
but now you're gone.
and memories all i have for now.
but no, it's not over.

we'll get older, we'll get over.
we'll live to see the day that I hope for.
come back to me.
i still believe that we'll get it right again.
we'll come back to life again.
we won't say another goodbye again.
you'll live forever with me.

someday, someday, we'll be together.
someday, someday, we'll be together.

i heard someday might be today.
mysteries of destinies,
they are somehow and are someway.
for all we know, they come tomorrow.

for today,
my eyes are open,
my arms are raised for your embrace.
my hands are here to mend what is broken.
to feel again, to walk on the face.

i believe there is more to life.
i love you much more than life it self.
i believe i can change your mind,
revive what is dying inside.

and someday, someday, we'll be together.
someday, someday, we'll be together.
someday, someday, we'll be together.
we'll be together.
we'll be together,
someday.


(someday by john legend)

merindukanmu

saat aku tertawa diatas semua.
saat aku menangisi kesedihanku.

aku ingin engkau selalu ada.
aku ingin engkau aku kenang.

selama aku masih bisa bernafas,
masih sanggup berjalan, ku 'kan selalu memujamu.
meski ku tak tahu lagi engkau ada dimana.
dengarkan aku, ku merindukanmu.

saat aku mencoba merubah segalanya.
saat aku meratapi kekalahanku.

aku ingin engkau selalu ada.
aku ingin engkau aku kenang.

[D'Masiv]

things bothered

(i) i should had replied my friend's important text but i didn't because i hadn't decided anything yet. Stupid stupid stupid. Sorry, dude!

(ii) i was in the middle of having fun, celebrated my best friends birthday but deep down inside i couldn't stop wondering *worrying, actually* about his birthday celebration. did he celebrate it himself? who made his favorite meals or asked him to hang out? or gave him a big birthday kiss and hug? everytime i thought about this i suddenly put up my cell phone and was ready to call or text but always ended with a big sigh. *do you know how my heart have been crying all along, dear?*

(iii) i sang a lot of songs for him but i thought it became a misleading for everyone who heard them. *cintaku bukanlah cinta biasa jika kamu yang memiliki dan kamu yang temaniku seumur hidupku* hahahahaha.

(iv) everytime i heard about that tribe was being discussed, i couldn't breath. was such feeling a 'missing'? it felt like being dumped by a lover. sucks. every breath is HURT. the more i tried to forget by those f*ckin fake smiles and laughters, the more my heart hurt, cried, and broke. Wht wa that actually?

(v) this vulnerable relationship is just a euphoria for him.

relief

now i can breath deeply and say that i am relief.

and i extremely happy.


thanks dad.


i love you.

encouragement

I've encouraged myself.

I don't know how this start meets its end.

But I hope it is a good start.

I won't ask anything.

I just want to know.


That's all.



may the force be with you.

unspoken line

kini telah ku sadari
dirimu telah jauh dari sisi
ku tahu tak mungkin kembali ku raih
semua hanya mimpi

ingin ku coba lagi
mengulang yang telah terjadi
tetapi semua sudah tak berarti
kau telah pergi

adakah kau mengerti kasih
rindu hati ini tanpa kau di sisi
mungkinkah kau percaya kasih
bahwa diri ini ingin memiliki lagi

ku sadari kembali
ternyata semua hanya lirih
kini ku tahu tak mungkin ada waktu
untuk mencintaimu lagi